48 hours, a short story | chan & seungmin

chan ⚘ fourth of july- sufjan stevens

- Chapter 9 , time

something changed in me last night.

i don't know what and i don't know how or why it could all change so fast, but i woke up this morning and felt okay. i didn't want to die. i didn't wish that i wouldn't have woken up.

if fact, i woke up and was thankful.

i sit up, and the green blanket that was laid on me falls off of me. i didn't go to sleep with a blanket, in fact i don't remember going to sleep at all. i look over to the loveseat, where his blanket and pillow are- but he is gone.

i turn my head around, looking for the kid. my eyes meet his in the kitchen, and he gives me a small smile when he sees me. he is making eggs, and the toaster just popped from the bagel he put in.

i turn back around, stretching my body out as i stand up from the couch. i ruffle my hair before i walk to the kitchen, and he hands me a plate of eggs with a bagel.

"i didn't know what you liked so i just put butter on it." he says, and turns around to the toaster again. "i hope that's okay."

i don't say anything, and that's when he looks back at me. i stare at him face, his puffy eyes and lips. he gives me another weak smile, and that's when i just look away.

"it's okay." i say.

"good." he says in almost a whisper.

i lift the bagel up to my mouth, taking a bite out of it. i haven't really eaten anything so it's nice to finally get something in my stomach. i didn't really think i needed food if i was going to die.

my stomach churns. the thought of dying makes me uncomfortable now, especially because i promised this boy i won't. i look up at him as he leans against the other side of the counter, eating his eggs silently.

you can hear the birds outside, and you can hear like wind and waves crashing. i eat the bagel and eggs he gave me, and they aren't bad at all. it's really good.

"have you even gone clubbing?" seungmin asks suddenly.

i look up to him immediately, and he tilts his head when our eyes meet. i put down my plates of eggs. "i beg your pardon?"

"have you ever gone clubbing?" he asks again, a bit more interrogating this time. "i mean you are twenty-six, you had to have gone clubbing once."

what is this kid on about?

"why are you asking me this?" i raise a brow.

i can't believe that after all we talked about last night, this is what he asks me. i mean, i guess it's better than him asking me why i want to die. or why i do what i do, i guess i don't have to tell him now.

"because we are going to go clubbing." he says.

"you're going clubbing?" i ask him, confused as to why he's so young and doing these things.

"yup." he says. "and i'm also going to take your everywhere else i can, just so i can teach you how to
live."

oh.

i kind freeze when i hear his words, and i start to realize how vulnerable i was with him last night. i never get like that with anybody really, so it was weird. but i guess now that i've done it, i can't go back.

"aren't you going to ask about.." i pause. "anything?" i raise my head to look back up at him.

"i'll ask when i've had fun with you." he says, and look away. "i don't think i deserve to know anything when i haven't done anything special in your life. i know i wouldn't want to tell a stranger everything that could change their perspective of me."

"yeah." i say. "thank you.. for that."

"oh chan," he looks up to me and smiles. "don't thank me now, save that for later. save that for when i deserve to be thanked."

i raise my head to look at him, and i feel a bit better when i see how genuine he looks. i don't know why, but i like this kid. more than i've ever liked a lot of people. i feel like i actually found somebody i want to spend some time with.

time is a valuable thing to me, so it's rare to find people i want to spend time with. there's a lot of people in the world, and some just aren't worth the short amount of time i have. however, i don't think i would ever regret spending time with this kid.

that's weird. this is weird. i turn away from him and clear my throat. "yeah, i've been clubbing." i say.

he looks away as well. "yeah, yeah cool. well we should go later tonight, but first i need to go to the animal shelter."

i don't look at him, since i just looked away, but i am shocked at his words. "why's that?" i ask before taking the last bite of my bagel.

i put down my empty plate and head to the sink, to wash my hands. he watches as i do so, instead of speaking. he has food in his mouth, and i'm assuming he's well-mannered enough to chew before he speaks.

he swallows. "i volunteer there every sunday. but since i leave sunday night, i told them i wanted to come in on saturday and spend my last day with the dogs."

"oh." i hum.

"you don't have to come if you don't want too." he says. "i was thinking we could go out for dinner afterwards though, then go clubbing."

"no," i shake my head, and take the dish towel to dry my hands. "i can come with, it won't hurt. what time do you have to be there? and what time do you leave?"

"i usually head over around one," he looks to the clock. "and then i leave at around four. so that's gives me and you an hour to get ready until we have to leave."

he turns back to me, but this time he is smiling at me. i set the dish towel down, and i tilt my head at him. he just chuckles, and looks away. "i didn't think you'd want to come.. so i'm kinda happy you are."

i feel my heartbeat speed up slightly. i don't know why, but the way he is so happy that i'm coming makes my body react like that. "it's nothing." i say, and begin to walk to the door. "i'm gonna go out to the beach, since i have nothing inside here for me."

he shakes his head. "no, i should get you better clothes." he starts to walk off.

"seungmin," i say, and he stops to look at me. "i'm fine, please stop doing so much for me. i feel bad about it.."

he raises his brows. "you actually feel something?"

after earning a blank stare from me, he just chuckles. "i'm kidding. but i'm not gonna stop taking care of you, so just wait right there. i'll go find you some clothes.. and a hairbrush."

before i can even debate, he is already running up the stairs. i feel myself starting to smile, but i just shake it off. i click my tongue and shake my head.

that damn kid.