Chapter 1

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My eyes opened out of passion, not out of need. I had been facing some deformed phase of insomnia where I could sleep, but not for a long time. And I could wake up without a habit. And I'm glad I could frankly, because we get trapped in our dreams. Held down, not able to escape. Well trust me, if a homicidal maniac even entered my dream, I wouldn't sleep that night and that was that.

It was a bright day in mid-July. The sun was shining. The wind wasn't blowing. And I felt that I could either tan myself in my sleep, or die of being baked alive. Maybe our lord and savior was trying to give me a sign that in the near future, he'd be eating me for dinner.

I got out of bed and automatically hit the shower and ate some food. I had felt a cramp in my stomach and I knew that my period was coming. You know? That period that you usually make fun of.. Yeah. That one. I had put a pad on and sometime between 8 and 11, the period of this 14 year old had came.

I lived in a generally nice community, with a big park so kids could play around. But most of the kids who had lived here, grown into teenagers and moved on to college or well -- I don't know. What really do you do when you leave home after you graduate high school? Not everyone goes to college. What was I going to do when I graduated high school? Then again, will I even stay in high school? I mean I thought sometimes of dropping out... never really thought if I should though. But then again, I didn't even start High School, yet. I just graduated from Sedona Middle School and won't be starting HS 'til September.

And on this blistering Summer day, I - Natalie Hart, will be sitting inside, while my mother is at work, probably watching some shows like Bob's Burgers or That's So Raven reruns on Netflix. So generally, I turn on Netflix. I flip to the other side of my remote and type in B-o-b-'-s B-u-r-g-e-r-s. I like Bob's Burgers. It's random. It's funny. It sure as hell isn't boring. I like Tina. She's my favorite. She's pretty funny. She reminds me kind of like - No.

No. I was not going to be the average girl who sits in the house all day trying to make a statement about how they have no friends or literally did nothing all Summer. And I'm definitely not going to say, "I sat at home watching Netflix all day," because you know what? All throughout 6th Grade, all throughout 7th Grade, and all throughout 8th Grade, all I heard in First Period was "I sat at home watching Netflix," because that's what every fucking white girl says. I'm gonna go outside. I mean there's kids outside. I could just play, I mean I do know them. They've been my neighbors all my life, what really do I have to lose?

So I turned off my TV. I put a tank top on. I put on a skirt. I put on socks and some shoes. I felt through my blonde hair and put a hair tie on my wrist. I got up. I walked down stairs and got a Rice Krispie treat. I stood by the door, looked at myself in the mirror, and reached for the doorknob. Wait.

I ran upstairs and went to the bathroom. I squat down on my knees and opened a bathroom cabinet, reaching for the tampons. I got a tampon out and inserted it.

I went downstairs and opened the door. The sun hit me across the face. The sun was shining, the air was fresh.



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