The Smartest Of Them All

The Good Bye

I have to leave, I think, but I know that from this point on I can't leave and probably wouldn't get far, so I let myself be led into the huge stone, partly metal, courthouse.

The way to the large room with cushions and carpet and the small sofa passes me by. I feel empty, very empty, and I know that from now on it will be difficult to get out of this in one piece, indeed impossible to get out of it in one piece.

When I enter the room with its large double doors, my family is alreadysitting on the sofa and looks up. Mom and Dad rush up to me and hug me tightly. They are crying. I don't cry. Then I sit down next to them on the sofa. Dad holds Mom's hand and they say something about how much they love me and that I should try to come home.

Flynn has been sitting quietly in the corner of the sofa, watching the scenario with a blank stare. But now he says in a toneless voice,"Mom Dad, can I maybe talk to Finch alone for a moment" The two look at him in amazement, but nod and leave the room.

"Flynn I-" "No, Finch, listen to me," he interrupts me in a serious voice. I look into his eyes. I see sadness and anger inthem but also a determination and a fire that shows me once again how stubborn he is. So I let him speak. "Trust no one when you're in there, no one. Get some food, find a water source, that's the most important thing. Don't make alliances, no alliances,no way. If you trust people, it will end badly. You can do it alone, you are intelligent enough. You can win with intelligence." 

With the last sentences his voice becomes more brittle and tears fill his eyes. Now the child emerges who does not want to lose his sister. The 7 year old who is afraid of having to live alone. That can not cope with the world in which we live. That is lonely and that has suffered so much that it is almost no longer a child. 

I'm not gonna cry. Thats not gonna help him. "Flynn, I know you can do it here, you can do it, I know you can. I believe in you. You'll be allright. If I don't come back-"

"No, stop, you will come back I believe it. I can't make it here without you..."

"But you can do it. You can all do it, together."

"I can't bring you back, can I? Finch I don't want to lose you, I don't want you to leave. But I have to, don't I?"

"I'm afraid you do Flynn"

He lowers his head and buries his face in his hands.

Everything after that is a loud blur of colours and faces. The train, dinner and sleep. I say nothing, show no sign of emotion, even though my insides are screaming and im constantly making new plans, trying to figure out how to survive this hell. Because without a strategy I'll be dead within a day.