Us Against the World

42. Together Again

The human body is an amazing thing.

You see, for everything that happens, our body reacts. When we're scared, we jump or scream. When we're happy, we jump or scream. When we're sad, we jump or scream. All the emotions that we have, they're a reaction to something happening to us. No matter how hard we pride ourselves in saying that we can contain our feelings, they're bound to come out sooner or later. Holding back our tears, our screams, our pain, and agony - that's as if we're creating a bomb made from ourselves, and the moment we're met with fire, it'll explode, and the effects will be deadly and costly. It's a mistake that we can't afford to make.

So, what happens when the body doesn't react?

Shock is a funny thing because no matter what happens, everyone has a different reaction to it. Some people burst into tears. Some shout for joy. Some blink a few times and others don't believe it at all.

Then, there's a special feeling. One that usually one feels when they hurt themselves physically, or when it's injected into their veins through a carefully administered IV.

Numbness.

It's not a tingly numbness; not like when one hits their funnybone. It's not an irritating or painful numbness either, like when I had a spinal fusion on my back and was unable (and still unable) to feel any touches there. No, this type of numbness is complete numbness. It's the type of numbness that paralyzes you and washes away all of your rational thoughts like a wave of bleach. It rocks you, stabs you, and screams in your ear, yet you can't hear, see, or feel it, because you're numb.

"He...he..." I find it difficult to speak. How do I speak English again? I don't remember. There's an alien language that sings in my head. No, now it's yelling. "He'll be deported?"

Aceline nods sadly. "We all will," she says softly. "If this lawsuit goes as far as it looks like it's going, there's a chance that...that we'll have to leave."

"No." I stand. The jolt that I make confuses my body, which is still releasing the medication, and I sway and stumble.

"Easy!" Aceline grips my arms, steadying me. "Where are you going, Meera? We have to wait for Chandini to come back, and you need the wheelchair."

"I have to see Ezra," I say, digging my fingers into Aceline's arm as she holds me. "Aceline, please, I have to go see him. I need to talk to him."

"Meera, stop. Stop and think." Aceline walks me against the bed. "Ezra has no idea that you're in the hospital. Once he finds out, he'll go batshit, as will the paparazzi. They're all at his house, hounding him. I don't think your body has the mental capacity to-!"

"I know what my body can and can't do," I snap. "Aceline, Ezra was with me at my lowest. He didn't hesitate or question anything. He just stayed with me and did what he could to bring me back up again. I owe him my sanity, but more importantly, I love him, Ace. I really love him, more than any guy that I've ever loved before. And I can't let my chance at happiness go up in flames." Not like in my dream.

Aceline's jaw tightens. She's unsure, what should she do. "Meera..." she stops herself. Her throat bobs as she thinks. The clock continues to tick. Finally, she says: "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes, Ace."

"...Okay." She grabs our things. "Let's go find Chandini. I'll leave her with Felix, and we'll go see Ezra. Prepare yourself. You're about to see how nasty the paparazzi can get."

~***~

Chandini seems to have a hint as to what I'm about to do when we drop her at Felix's apartment. She doesn't say anything, though, and merely nods at me, trudging down the rocky path toward the lavish, blindingly white lobby of Felix's home. The moment they're both inside, Aceline steps on the accelerator and we're down the street like a bullet, zig-zagging through the cars.