Matilda

eleven

*listen to 'Hard to Sleep' by Gracie Abrams:)

"Can you sing that passage again?" Mitch sits on a stool, looking down at his guitar. We're in the common room of the arena in St. Paul, the sound check is already done, and now we're sitting here and Harry came up with an idea for a song he had.

"Living in a daydream,
She said 'love me like you paid me'." Harry sings the words. Mitch tries out some chords on his guitar, moving his head to the melody of his instrument.

"Maybe try 'I'll be gone for so long'." Mitch suggests. Naomi and Sarah are with Leo right now, so Elin and I sit on one couch while Harry and Pauli sit on the other.

Harry nods and hums the melody before he starts singing the lines. But once he's done he furrows his brows and shakes his head. "Nah, I don't know."

"Maybe put something before it, you can loosen it up a bit." I say, also humming the melody before I sing the words. "Living in a daydream,
She said 'love me like you paid me',
You know, I'll be gone for so long." For the last line, I switch to some higher notes.

"Yeah, that's better." Mitch says, writing it down on a sheet of music, along with the notes for the chords.

"Okay then we had some lines around 'give me all of your love, give me something to dream about.'" Harry continues, tapping his finger on his knee to the beat.

"Before the second verse, I'd do an instrumental." Pauli says, his head resting on the back test of the couch.

"Okay, any ideas for the second verse?" Harry asks everyone around. Elin texts her boyfriend while Pauli looks like he'd fall asleep any second.

"Can I see the chords?" I ask Mitch, holding my hand out for the sheet of music. He hands me the piece of paper with a smile, before going back to playing random chords on his guitar.

I skim the notes and lyrics we already have before I close my eyes and try to come up with some ideas. "Stay until the morning, 'cause baby loving you's the real thing. It just feels right, when you give me all of your love, da da da da..." I sing the first words coming to my mind. "Just an idea, then you could continue with the pre-chorus lines, carry them on through the song."

"Write that down, that's good." Harry nods and points with wide eyes towards the sheet of music on the table in front of me.

"Wow Millie, I didn't know you sing." Pauli sounds surprised, now seeming wide awake.

"Well, occasionally." I shrug.

"Can we hear something?" Elin asks with a kind tone in her voice and out of my peripheral view I see Harry smiling to himself, shaking his head ever so slightly.

"Um, I don't really have something new currently." I let out a nervous chuckle. I don't even wanna sing in front of Harry, the last I wanted to do was do it in front of everyone.

"C'mon, doesn't have to be something new. Pleeeeease." Pauli whines dramatically and when Mitch practically places his guitar in my lap with a grin I sigh and groan at the same time but give in eventually.

*I strum the strings, close my eyes and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing I guess.

"I only thought it for a minute but it got me down,
That kind of feeling when you've got something to cry about,
And all the talking turned to screaming that I couldn't help,
This isn't me, me, me.
I only thought it for a moment but it's crippling,
I guess the gravity have growing out of sinking in,
What if I'm missing the capacity for all of it,
This isn't me, me, me." I sing the first verse, keeping my eyes closed, not wanting to face reality and look in all of their faces.