Never Truly Living

Chapter 17

Summer, it seemed, was over faster than it had begun, and with autumn loomed her son and daughter's six-month birthday, and, possibly, the end of her tenure as a stay-at-home mother. M had called in regards to a position that was opening up at the beginning of November.

Vesper was suddenly struck with a variety of conflicting feelings as the older woman told her the news. She'd had to admit that some part of her yearned to be back amongst adults again. To be able to have adult conversations about things like politics and current events. She had been very good at her job, and had valued her career greatly, and it had been a point of pride that she had risen as far and as fast as she had.
But of course the thought of being away from her children for more than an hour or so sent her into a spiral of guilt and anxiety. She couldn't imagine being away from them all day, leaving them in the care of such a young woman, no matter how capable she had proven herself to be. As well, they had yet to be weaned, and was still dependent on her exclusively for food.

Vera and Oliver at five and a half months were becoming stouter by the day, now both weighing roughly sixteen pounds, and now able to sit up on their own without any support most of the time, which made playtime a lot more productive.

They could now sit and play with a toy or each other. She and Sam spent hours on the floor with the two of them, moving knobs and dials and pressing buttons for them, watching as they started to figure things out.
They could now roll over on their own as well, if they were placed on their bellies, and they were beginning to learn to scoot themselves around by pulling their little bottoms across the floor.

Vesper very much did not want to miss any future milestones, and she told M as much when the woman called her a week later.

"I understand," M replied, her voice soft. "There will be other positions. Perhaps waiting until the new year would be more suitable?" Vesper breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yes. I think that would be the better option," Vesper agreed, glancing at Sam, who approached her holding Oliver, who gazing up at his mother with round eyes.

"Alright," M's voice came into her ear, "I'll be in touch, and if I don't hear from you until the new year, I do wish you all a Happy Christmas." Vesper smiled, stroking her son's head.

"And to you," Vesper said.

She hung up the phone and turned to see Sam's expectant face staring back at her.

"So?" the girl asked, shifting the baby's already considerable weight to her other hip.

"I'm not taking it," Vesper told her, and the girl smiled brightly.

"Oh, good," she said. "I told you it was too soon."

"I know," Vesper said, sighing deeply. She shook the thoughts from her head. "Come on, you two, lunch in the park?"

"Park, Oliver?" Sam asked the boy, making her eyes big. He smiled at her.

"Bah!" he said, "bah, bah, bah!"

"I think that was a yes," Vesper said, laughing, heading down the hallway to get Vera up from her nap.

•

Halloween passed by as an insignificant affair. A few trick-r-treaters stopped by the flat, much to the delight of Sam. With November came the first of the cooler weather, rain and gloom often permeating their days, and with this new month came her children's forays into the world of locomotion.
They had both gotten fairly skilled at pulling themselves around, scooting along on their bottoms a few feet at a time, and were both able to stand with support for a couple of moments at a time. And for quite some time now, they'd been leaning forward on their arms as they sat, sometimes Oliver was able to get his knees under him and even rock a little bit on all fours.