Not-So-Secret

Chapter thirty-nine

All through the past two years she'd survived on the memories of her nights with James. There had been so few, but she could recall everything; the slightest detail. She'd played those time and again, her only sexual release had been to sweet thoughts of his touch.

But the man who stood so close, staring at her body as if he'd never seen her before, was a stranger. She didn't understand how he could speak to her as he did, what he expected from her.

James closed his eyes and took a step back. He exhaled slowly and when he opened his eyes again it was to look for her dress. He reached for one of the outfits on the hook and handed it to her without meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? That's it?" She slipped the black dress over her head. It was long, slinky, clinging to her curves. " You've been a total ass."

"I know." He leaned back, resting his head against the wall. "I have to be."

"Why? What happened? What changed?"

He looked at her again, a coldness she'd never seen before darkening his eyes. "I have to and no, I can't explain."

"You can't help me. You can't explain. Fine. That's your business. Just do me a favour. Don't get in my way."

"What are you thinking?"

"You have no right to ask me that."

He stepped forward, took hold of both her arms again.

"Tell me, Kelly. Damn it, don't you go do something stupid."

"Let me go."

He did, but he didn't step back. "Don't try anything funny, Kelly. Not now."

"Why should I listen to you? You've clearly sold your soul to that bastard."

"Look, you don't have to listen to me. I know that. But do me a favour. Wait. Things are going to change."

"How?"

"I can't say more. If you love your son, you won't ask me to. All I'm saying is lay low. Let Jones have his way. It won't last forever."

"What are you telling me?"

He turned away from her. "Don't. I've already said to much."

"Too much? You haven't said anything. Damn it, James, if not for me, then for my son. Talk to me."

"He won't like that dress." James said, eyeing her from shoulder to toes. "It's not slutty enough."

"That's it, then? All you're going to say?"

He reached for the door, but she put her hand on his. "Tell me one thing, all right? Did you feel anything at all for me? Before? When you were in my bed? In me?"

He spun around, took her once in his painful grip, only this time, his lips came down on hers, hard; bruising, then his tongue was inside, thrusting and it was as if he wanted to eat her, to devour her.

There was nothing she could do but to give it all back to him, just as hard, just as desperately. She remembered his taste, the way his lips felt, his tongue teased. The strength of his chest, his shoulders.

She'd memorized him, inch by inch and it was all so familiar and yet it was all so new. Nothing should feel this good and this terrifying.

More.

She wanted more.

He pulled away sharply and looked at her as if she'd tricked him, as if he hadn't been the one to grab her, to kiss her and then he was outside the dressing room and the surprised salesclerk gasped, started to complain.

Her voice receded until Kelly was alone in the silence, listening to her racing heartbeat, her ragged breath.

None of this made any sense. Shaun in the care of a stranger. Jones with his cruelty and his demands and James, who was the most confusing thing of all.