Not-So-Secret

Chapter seventy

KELLY CHECKED the bedside clock. It was five minutes to three, time for her to go.

Jones slept soundly beside her, his arm cradling his head, his white hair vivid against the navy blue sheets even in the dark of his bedroom.

If he woke up, it shouldn't alarm him that she'd gone. It probably would have surprised him more to find her here. The night had been a long one, dinner at a fundraising benefit for breast cancer research, with dancing afterward. Jones was his charming self, busy chatting it up with the influential of Vegas society, while she mostly stood silent by his side, showing off he ring by putting her left hand on his arm. Of course, he hadn't been gauche enough to announce the value of the ring, but the word had mysteriously spread nonetheless. By the end of the evening, her jaw had ached from her forced happiness.

They'd come back to the room just after two and she'd fully expected another trip to hell, but nothing had happened. He'd simply told her to get into bed and he'd gone to sleep next to her. No words, no recriminations. In it's own way, this scared her more than anything he could have done.

She hadn't had room to be too distraught. She was too busy being preoccupied by the events about to take place.

When she'd gone to her room for her nap this afternoon, she'd stopped by Mrs. Mills's room. Taking her life in her hands, she'd asked the nanny to do her a favour. To slip a note to James. If all had gone well, she would see him at her door in a few minutes. She planned to take him through her suite in the dark, all the way back to the closet. Her safe space. There, she intended to break her silence and tell him the truth about Shaun.

If, in fact, all hell was about to break loose, she wanted him to know. She hoped it was the right thing to do. Seeing him with Shaun this afternoon had made it clear that she couldn't continue the pretense. James had a right to know he was a father. Maybe, if miracles occurred and they all lived through this, they could actually be parents to the boy. Whether they would ever be a couple, she had no idea. It seemed too much to hope for.

One thing for sure, she couldn't be with him if he continued to work for Xanadu. Even with Jones gone, she wouldn't be able to stand it. Once this was over, she never wanted to see Las Vegas again. She'd probably be in the Witness Security Program, anyway, so it was foolish to entertain thoughts of happily-ever-after, but she couldn't help it. She had to have some dreams left, even if they were completely unrealistic.

She slipped out of the bed and moving as quietly as she knew how, got her robe from inside the bathroom. After she slipped it on, she crept through the suite. It was dark and quiet, but she made it unscathed. The door was a little trickier, but she had memorized the alarm combination and a few moments later was in the hallway. She knew there were cameras here, but her presence shouldn't make any waves. She trusted James would find some safe way of getting to her room.

When she was just a few feet from her door, the lights in the hallway went out. After her heart stopped pounding and she remembered how to breathe again, she realised that was James's solution.

She walked the few remaining steps and when she pulled her key card out of her robe pocked, saw his shadow approach.

It was so dark, she couldn't make out any of his features. In fact, she wouldn't have known who it was, if she hadn't memorized his scent. It was James, all right and it was his hand on the small of her back as she opened the door.

In complete silence, not even a footfall to be heard, they walked through her suite until they reached her bedroom. The darkness here was almost complete, so he found her hand, put it on his shoulder and led the way, inching past the armoire, the chaise and the bed until he found the closet.

Once inside, she exhaled, although her heart still raced. It was terrifying and she hated it. She felt as though she'd spent half her life hiding, running, being scared. To be carefree, feel the kind of safety most of the world took for granted, that was her dream. To not worry about her son being corrupted, or being kidnapped... was that so much to ask?

"Close your eyes," James said. "I'm going to turn on a light."

She obeyed and even though she could tell it wasn't the overhead light, the brightness still made her wince, the contrast from the dark was so intense. A few moments later her eyes adjusted and she opened them.

James was right in front of her, studying her face, not touching her, but oh, so close.

They each leaned forward until their lips met. She melted against him and his arms came around her back and there was nothing but safety in that hold. Only comfort.

"Kelly," he whispered. "Oh, my God. You shouldn't have risked it. Don't you understand? It's so close and there's so much to lose."

"I had to. It's you who doesn't understand. I have something to tell you."

He kissed her again, deeply, sharing breath, sharing hope. He pulled her tightly against, the thin robe her feel his strength. For the moment there was no Jones, no engagement, nothing but the two of them coming together. It was impossible to be still and they moved their lips, tongues, hands, as each of them did their best to lose themselves in the other. When he pulled back, she gasped in much-needed air, but there was no way she was finished.