Not-So-Secret

Chapter fifty-four

KELLY STUDIED her dresses, unsure what she could wear that would appease Jones. Getting him drunk had worked as far as gaining access to his papers, but he'd been petulant, angry at her instead of himself.

That she'd lived through this morning still shocked her. If Jones had been even a bit more coherent, he'd have seen through her lies and then? Shaun would have been trapped forever. Alone.

She pulled a dress of the hanger and held it against her body. It was long, powder-blue and covered her back completely. It had a faux turtleneck collar, but the arms were cut out and the way it hugged her body left nothing to the imagination. In fact, her nipples stuck out even if she wasn't cold. God, how could anyone think it was attractive?

She put it back and continued to look, hoping to find something that wouldn't make her cringe.

The thing was, if she was going to continue to put together a case against Jones, she had to think about the consequences if she should fail. Her problems would be over, but what about Shaun?

Maybe she should tell James the truth. If he knew Shaun was his, he wouldn't let him stay with Jones. Would he?

No. He might have changed, but surely he could still see that Jones was insane. Besides, the fact that it was Jones would be a secondary issue, James wouldn't abandon his own flesh and blood.

Or maybe that was her own wishful thinking. He confused her so much, it was painful to think about him. One minute she believe he was somehow ally, the next, her enemy. If she told him about Shaun and he was committed to Jones, what then? He might not do anything to rock the boat. Maybe he'd think his son was lucky to have the money and power of Jones behind him. There were simply too many unknowns for her to leave anything to chance. She'd have to stick to her plan, not counting on anyone. However, she'd have to think the fail-safe plan through very carefully. Not do anything rash.

She crossed the closet, wondering if the maids had left the blouse she'd worn on the plane. Kelly thought of her life in Milford, working at the diner. The hadn't been any challenge, except to keep her story from the well-meaning busybodies of the small town, but she'd found a certain grace in doing the simple work to the best of her ability. She had taken comfort in the slow pace of the life there, in the town rituals such as the Sunday church supper, the once a month bake sale, the football games that the high school team inevitably lost.

She'd created a cocoon for herself and Shaun and she'd mistakenly thought she could stay there for the rest of her life, or at least until Jones died, which ever had come first.

But what had really kept her alive, kept her spirit from diminishing beyond hope, were her dreams of James. Her fantasies fuelled her nights and her days, as she'd spun out one happy ending after another. Her favourite had been a plane crash were only Jones had died.

James, free from the bonds that had held him to the despot, had searched and searched until one day she'd see him walking into the the Hong Kong diner. He'd be tired but when he caught sight of her for the first time, his whole face would light up.

They'd run into each other's arms and, for a long time, they'd say nothing. Just hold each other tight, breathe in the closeness, revel in the love that they had swelled and different with each passing day.

She'd take him to pick up Shaun and he'd know, that's first instant, that's it was his son he was seeing. He'd feel a bond a strong as destiny and he'd tell her he'd never leave them again. They'd be a family, the three of them, forever.

She had to laugh at her naiveté, are else she'd weep and never stop. Jones certainly wasn't dead and even if that had been true, James wouldn't have come searching for her.

Clearly he'd hardly thought of her at all during the nearly three years they'd been apart. As for the bond with Shaun?

He liked the boy. But who wouldn't? Shaun was an amazing kid who could charm the birds from the trees. But the hoped for connection between them was nothing more than wishing on a star.