Once More, With Strangeness

Chapter 20

 The car ride was painfully silent due to the awkward tension between Becca and Eddie. She hated it. Becca had never done well with silence, always feeling the need to fill it but not now. She could think of nothing to say, nothing that would make any of this any less anxiety ridden. Nothing that would make everything okay. Nothing that would make her feel better about him willingly walking into that place again.

It felt like Eddie was just prepared to throw everything away. She'd spent six months drowning, feeling like she couldn't breathe, grief stricken, thinking she would never see him again. She'd risked everything to save him, to bring him back and now he acted like it was nothing to walk in there, to get trapped there again, to leave her forever.

Things had not been right since he'd returned. She loved him. Jesus, she loved him so much it created a physical ache within her. They'd been intimate on multiple occasions. They'd touched and kissed and said all the right words but she couldn't help feeling like he was holding something back from her. It didn't feel like she had all of him like she'd had before. It was as if he'd left part of himself in the Upside Down, a part she couldn't reach.

Now, with his eagerness to run back in there, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd given up on them. Given up on the thought of them leaving this town together. Given up on being with her or any chance at happiness. Maybe she was reading more into it than there was. She knew he loved Dustin with his whole heart. She knew he would do anything to protect him. Maybe it was that simple, but it felt more complicated and she couldn't stop the terror that filled her at how unconcerned he seemed to be about possibly risking himself again.

She told herself that none of that mattered right now. Whatever was going on with her and Eddie had to be put on the back burner. What mattered was getting Dustin back and stopping Spike from whatever mayhem he was planning. She'd brought this problem upon them all and now she had to fix it before he managed to do even more damage, before anyone got hurt.

Steve reached forward, one hand kept on the steering wheel, and switched on the radio. Apparently he wasn't enjoying the silence either. Robin had to be absolutely losing her mind. He fiddled with the radio, settling on Whitney Houston and Eddie audibly groaned from the backseat.

"Driver picks the music," Steve stated, "and the passengers have to deal with it. So just shut it, Munson."

"I didn't even say anything," he grumbled.

"I could hear your thoughts," he replied.

Becca brought her hand to her mouth, holding back the laugh that was threatening to burst forth. It felt inappropriate to laugh at such a tense time but damn, was it funny to have Eddie's music choice at the mercy of Steve and for him to pick the poppiest, most mainstream song he could. It was a sweet kind of torture, one that didn't cause him any bodily harm so she could enjoy it.

"Ohh, I love this song," Ivy commented and then began to sing. "How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heartbeat. I fall in love whenever we meet. I'm asking you because you know about these things!"

Robin joined in, "How will I know if he's thinking of me? I try to phone, but I'm too shy..."

"Can't speak!" Becca sang before all three of them continued.

"Falling in love is so bittersweet. This love is strong, why do I feel weak?"

Steve joined in, singing "If he loves me..."

The girls finished it, "If he loves me not..."

"Christ, just kill me now," Eddie grumbled, pressing his fingers against his eyes.

The four of them burst out laughing and it didn't feel inappropriate at all. It felt like a release, a beautiful moment of releasing all the anxiety and stress, enjoying life, before they jumped into the thick of it again. Eddie did not join in, choosing to continue to pout in the backseat.