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Part 7: One last time

Shannen's Pov

Its been 5 months since the car accident, and Luke is still in a coma. A week had passed since i last saw him, i just couldn't bear to see him like that. I went to my favorite flower shop, where Luke used to buy me some, i walked inside and searched for his favorite flowers. Boys likes flowers to you know, after 30 minutes of searching i finally found it. I believe that if i bring his favorite things, he'll wake up and we'll be happy again. I walked to the cashier and paid for the flowers. I went inside my car and drove to the hospital, after 15 minutes i finally arrived to the hospital. I took the elevator and got out in the third floor, i opened his door slowly and when i got inside, everybody was there. His family, the 5sos boys and the 1D guys. I smiled at everyone else and gave Liz the flowers i bought she said thank you and i smiled.
I sat in the empty space next to Calum and asked why everybody is here, his eyes looked like he just cried and his face looks tired. “Are you crying?" I asked Calum. “I cried earlier.." He said looking away so i couldn't see that a tear escaped from his eyes. “Why? What happened?" I said tearing up. “The doctor said that, there is a 90% chance that Luke wouldn't wake up anymore." He said burying his hands in his face. “WHAT? NO. NO, It can't be hahaha tell me you're joking Calum!" I said shaking him. “TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING!" “Please, please.." I said breaking down on the floor. Right after i broke down, the machine that is connected to Luke went bonkers, everybody went crazy. His dad was screaming “DOCTOR! DOCTOR!" His mom's face was buried in his brother's chest, his other brother was calming his dad, the 5sos boys, the 1D boys and I was asked by the nurse to stay outside, so we did. After 15 minutes his family came out crying, i ran to his mom and asked what happened. His mom looked at me and immediately broke down crying, and that is the moment i knew, HE'S GONE. He's gone, i cried in his mom's arm, until my chest hurts from my heart shattering into a million pieces. I finally let go, still crying and said “Can i see him?" She nods. I slowly opened the door and when i got inside i left the door opened behind me, doctors started coming out and there he was covered in a white cloth. I stood next to him and removed the white cloth from his face, i talked about our past just like every other day but it'll be the last time that i'll do it now. “I love you Luke, i always have and always will." I leaned in and whispered in his ear, i kissed his forehead and put the white cloth again in his face. I got out of the room and closed the door behind me, Harry was still there sitting outside, he approached me and handed me a paper which seems like an invitation into a big event.
“I know that Luke had just died but Aila wanted to give you that. Its the invitation to our wedding next month in Paris. The plane ticket is already there, you were supposed to go with Luke but- yeah so is it okay if you'll go with Niall?" He said smiling at me. “So this is what Aila is talking about, she won't shut up about it. Yeah its okay, its always nice to have a company!" I laughed trying to hide the pain but i ended up crying anyway. Harry hugged me until i stopped sobbing, he let go and said goodbye.
I finally got home after a long sad day, i threw everything on the floor and ran upstairs, i jumped in my bed and buried my face on the pillow and cried until there is no tears left in my eyes. It just hurts so much, it hurts me in the fact that i never got to tell him i actually loved him and now he's gone and the last thing we ever did was fought. I walked inside the bathroom and took the razor, its been a long time since i last used it, Luke was the reason i stopped using it and now he is the same reason i'm going to use it again. It hurts like shit but the pain i'm feeling inside is much worse than the pain the razor is going to cause. I sat in the corner of the bathroom and pressed the razor against my skin, i started crying again when i remembered the happiness, the sadness and the memories we shared together i couldn't see with my blurry vision so i wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and when i looked up there was Luke. He was standing, looking at me with teary eyes. “Please don't do that." He said kneeling in front of me and pushing my hair back. I sat up and hugged him tight and sobbed in his chest without saying any word i just wanted to treasure this moment. “See baby, i don't have much time. I just came back to say this to you." He said gently pushing me away to look me in the eyes. “I love you, i know you love me too. So please promise me you'll be happy, promise me that you'll find someone else. He's already around you, you just have to notice. I don't wanna see you sad because of me, it kills me inside eventhough i'm already dead." He said laughing.
He had a sense of humor until the very end, i know its pretty weird but i suddenly felt happy knowing that he'll always be around, he even looked for someone for me. “I promise Luke, i love you okay?" I said smiling at him. “I love you too. I'll always be around." He leaned in and kissed me, it was our first and last kiss. I opened my eyes and he was gone already, i threw the razor blade in the trash bin and got out of the bathroom. I took a shower and dressed up, i decided to go to my favorite place to watch the sunset. I hadn't had the chance to take Luke there, unfortunately but it used to be the place where Niall takes me to watch the sunset everyday, i bet he never goes there anymore. I wanted to bury my memories with Luke there to create new ones. I gathered Luke's stuff and put it in a plastic bag, i rushed downstairs, locked the door and ran towards my car. I have 30 minutes until sunset.
I arrived at the woods and got out of the car, i remembered that i have to walk from here into the cliff where the best place to watch the sunset is located. I arrived in the cliff after 5 minutes of walking and i still got 15 minutes until sunset. I decided to bury Luke's things already and after 10 minutes of burying i sat at the end of the cliff with my feet hanging. I don't care if i have fear of heights, i just want to live this very moment. I closed my eyes for a second then suddenly someone tapped my shoulder, i turned around and saw Niall smiling at me. “Can i sit beside you?" He said in his lovely irish accent. He sat next to me without even waiting for a reply. “I thought you've already forgotten about this place." I said looking at the beautiful view of the city. “Believe me, i still go here every now and then to watch the sunset." He said looking down at his hands.
“Its funny how the time flies right?" I smiled at him. “Yeah." He smiled back at me. “And there she goes." He said pointing at the sun setting down. We remained in silence, just like that, after it already became dark he stood up and started to walk away. “Stay." I said grabbing his wrist. He pulled me up and lead me away at the end of the cliff we sat on the grass and he layed down. “What are you doing?" I said giggling. “Stargazing" He said looking serious. I pushed him away so that i could lay beside him. “What are you doing?" He said looking at me smiling. “Stargazing" I looked at him and smiled. We laughed and after we stopped i told him about the conversation i had with Luke and about Aila and Harry's wedding. We remained like that in like a forever, and even for a moment i forgot about Luke and all the pain, for a moment i felt alive.