I See You (N. Sully)

Chapter 24

"What did you see when you connected with the spirit tree?"

Her eyes raised to meet his, fiddling with the blade of sea grass between her fingers. "Why?"

Neteyam shrugged his shoulders, looking out onto the reef from where they were sitting, seeing Ao'nung, Rotxo and Lo'ak actually getting along for once. "You had this look on your face, when you disconnected." He shook his head, "sorry, you don't need to tell me."

"It's okay." She smiled. The death of her family wasn't something she could shy away from anymore. He knew, and she had known it was only a matter of time, so what was the harm in talking about everything else? "I saw my family."

"All of them?"

"Yeah." Furrowing her eyebrows, she asked, "why do you ask?"

"No reason." His lips fell into a tight line, as if begging himself not to say what he was thinking. She wouldn't force him to share, but would be lying if she said she wasn't dying to know.

"What about you?" She hadn't known about any lost relatives that he was particularly close to, so she was interested in knowing who he spoke to during that time.

"A woman I've never met before." Neteyam studied her closely, not out of suspicion, but out of casual interest, as if he did it every single day. It wasn't particularly strange he had met a stranger, Ahurewa used to speak with past spirit dancers in her clan, but the way he had said it made her question what it was that had happened. "She looked like you."

With raised eyebrows she asked, "She say anything interesting?"

Neteyam faltered then, looking away before saying, "just to keep everyone safe."

"Hmm," she nudged his shoulder playfully, 'keep your secrets then."

For a moment they remained in silence, neither of them making a move to speak, but the silence being more comforting than awkward. They had learned to sit in peace with each other for all of the time they had spent together, and it had become time away from the stress and pressures of his family.

"Can I ask you something?" Ahurewa knew there was a possibility he wouldn't answer, but the question had been eating away at her ever since he had said the words. When he nodded, she mumbled, "what did you mean about having horrible nightmares?"

He stared at her blankly, either he had completely forgotten he'd said that, or it wasn't what he expected her to say. Ahurewa had remained silent, waiting for him to decide whether he wanted to answer or not. She didn't want to push him further away, she was done with the silent treatment, with the arguments and the fighting. They would listen to each other from now on, even if they didn't want to. "I dream of you."

"Nightmares?"

"Sometimes." He dropped his gaze to the ripped up grass in front of her. Neytiri would cook it later or give it to them for lunch tomorrow.

"And other times?"

Neteyam's eyes flashed with a quiet nervousness. "Before I knew you."

"What are you saying?"

"I had a dream where I was out in the forest, and I found something – I couldn't make it out – but it was something I had to find."

"What was it?" She noticed the way his fine lines has started to fade and the tenseness that he usually held in his shoulders had disappeared. Despite everything that had happened with Kiri, he was starting to let go and relax a bit more, something that brought a smile to her face.

"You."

Ahurewa held her breath, not wanting him to feel the nervous energy pouring from her. They had both felt it, and in their own indirect ways, they had acknowledged it. She didn't know what he truly meant by his dream, she was sure there was more to it, but she didn't care, not when his focus was so obviously on her. He made her feel like that often, even when they had fallen out. She could feel his gaze whenever it rested on her, at first she disliked the feeling, at the start when he was more of an annoyance than a point of interest. Now? He was the most interesting thing in her small world. He made her feel special, protected and seen. Not even her own clan had truly seen her. They only saw what they wanted her to be. Neteyam saw who she truly was, he took her at face value and pushed and pushed until he couldn't get any closer. A part of her hated how easy it was for him, but the other part of her relished in the idea that maybe he saw in her what she saw in him – a home. "And?"

"I finally found you." His voice had fallen into a gentle whisper, the relief in his voice was obvious, like he'd been exhausted and was finally able to rest.

It wasn't long before she found him drawing nearer, the warmth of his body burning her side as he drew his hand up to turn her cheek. She was leaning with her hands resting in the dirt behind her, and with Neteyam's height, she found herself looking up into his eyes, watching the way he studied her in awe.

The subtle details of her face fascinated him, the pulsing glow of illuminating marks scattered over her cheeks, the vivid green beaming up at him, and his favourite thing, the faint smile that she always tried to hide when he was around. She thought he never noticed it, but it was the first thing he would always notice about her.

"You want to." He whispered against her lips. "We could have it if we wanted it." The truth was, he was really talking to himself, convincing himself that he should take what was his.

"Want what?" It was barely spoken, but the words fell from her lips, being brushed away with the wind as she hung on his every word. She knew what he meant, but she wanted to hear him say it – prove she wasn't dreaming as well.

"I want it, Ahurewa."

She stared at him with wide eyes, suddenly aware of the heaviness of her own breathing.

"I want you."

He was so close, she could almost feel his lips on her own.

"Do you want me?" He tilted his head slightly, as if trying to fight his own desire to claim her lips with his own, knowing how she felt but wanting to hear the words from her own mouth. They were two sides of the same coin, the start and the end, they would be the last of their songcords.

"Yes." She whispered, afraid of her own voice.

"Say it louder." He wanted to be sure. Needed to know it wasn't in his head this time – not again.

His eyes shut for a moment breathing it in as she said again, "Yes."

A gentle smile fell upon his lips, his touch more gentle. He could finally have her. He had waited far too long. His thumb brushed against her cheek as he tenderly pressed his lips against her own. Sharing each other's warmth and both of them finally feeling as though they had a moment of rest. They could understand each other in a way no one else could, and the way they felt could never be expressed in words, only in actions. Their brief glances at each other, and faint brushing of hands, it was all a spiritual yearning that could only be expressed when they let their guard down.

She couldn't explain the way he made her feel at that moment. What they had thought and felt had finally been pieced together. Their search for that missing piece of their souls wasn't something they needed to take after all, it was something they needed to share. Ahurewa would never leave his side. She would stay with him for as long as she could, for she feared that now she was complete, he would be taken from her like everyone else.