I See You (N. Sully)

Chapter 12

Ahurewa had spent the entire day in a mindless circle of silence and work. Whatever was asked of her she did, no protest or complaining. All night she had laid awake, listening to the irregular breathing of Neteyam who lay across from her, probably unable to sleep as well. Jake and Neytiri had announced it to everyone shortly after Neteyam left her at the entrance of the cave, a cold chill washing over her as she watched him disappear.

When she woke up, it was like she had blinked. It felt as though she were falling and falling until eventually she hit the ground, and it woke her up with a jolt. Working off barely any sleep had left her sluggish and irritable when working with Mo'at at lunch. Neteyam hadn't spoken to her all day after he had left, and since he returned, even the next day when she handed him his bowl of vine wrapped fish, his gaze remained on the moss covered dirt.

More and more, she grew angry thinking about it all. She refused to let the only people who had felt remotely like a family to her, leave that easily. They had welcomed her, and trusted her, giving her responsibilities that made her feel like a contributing member of the Omatikaya people. Above all, Neteyam had been there for it all. How could she climb the Hallelujah mountains to the ikran nest, without thinking of him hiding behind a rock, watching and listening? How could she wander the forest at all, without being reminded of the first few days where he had felt like an unwanted chaperone? What scared her the most, was sleeping alone at night. She hadn't said it to anyone, not even Neteyam. But the few nights she had spent wandering around the forest alone, being woken by predators, splintered by trees she tried to rest in, she barely got two hours sleep a night. Constantly, Ahurewa was hunted and hunting. She had no idea she would run into the Omatikaya like that, not so quickly. Her hair had been caked in mud, and her small bag that she had grabbed before leaving, had a few scraps from the bird she had caught and eaten the night before. She knew how to survive the forest, she had been doing it since she was a toddler, but she wasn't a hunter, and she wasn't a warrior. She couldn't thrive, all she could do was survive.

So, the thought of sleeping in a tent alone, without the stuffy warmth and gentle snores to send her to sleep, scared her. It was probably one of the only things that could scare her now. Who would keep her safe as she slept now? Neteyam wouldn't be there anymore, listening out for her, and watching her. He had been there since the very start, following her everywhere along the way. She couldn't let him get away that easily.

They were leaving tomorrow morning, so she had the rest of the day to do something about it.

Neteyam was in front of the spirit tree when Ahurewa saw him next. Standing with his family, all watching with pained expressions as Jake gave up his title of Olo'eyktan. It was hard to watch, even for Ahurewa who hadn't been there long.

Neteyam had seen her out of the corner of his eye. He always saw her. She had stood as out of the way as possible, but close enough to see. She had taken her braids out, instead choosing for one long braid, beaded and embellished with parts of the forest. In truth, her hair style had reminded Ahurewa of her grandmother, she hadn't known until she had finished it. Neteyam had also noticed when she winced as the knife was brought down on his father, a metaphor for death. He should have been looking, watching when Tarsem had raised the knife. But he wasn't. His eyes were on Ahurewa, who was watching the scene intently, focussed enough not to notice his attention. His father had told him to speak with her tonight, know how she felt about it all and if she would need any further support after they were gone. He didn't want to speak to her. Saying goodbye would make it final, unavoidable. As for asking her how she felt, he didn't want to know. If he had to find himself a replacement, he didn't know if he could bare it, knowing she would go on to live in his home, without him.

It was supposed to be in the evening when he spoke to her. He was supposed to pull her aside whilst everyone was eating dinner, and get it over with as quickly as possible. Of course that didn't happen.