falling - the sequel

what if I loved you way too much

J: Hey

H: Heeey - he says clearly surprised, but happy to see me

J: So, the word has it that... you're a coward

He furrows his brow in amusement: "Is that so?"

I nod and smile. He smiles with his adorable dimples sticking out.

J: Do you want to dance? – I say after a pause

He looks at me half smiling, half suspicious... but puts his hand in mine. I lead us to the dance floor and turn to face him when we reach the middle. We take each others hands, his other goes to my waist and mine to his broad shoulder. I haven't touched him like this for too long, but it feels strangely comfortable.

We catch the ending of Tom Odells "Another love", but continue to sway along together to "I don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith.

H: How have you been?

J: Good. I got a promotion for the summer.

H: For real? What for?

J: I am assisting the global brand manager for womens basketball, at the HQ in Oregon

H: Wow! That's great Jo. Congratulations.

J: Thanks

H: You so deserve it. After the hours you put in there

J: Thank you

H: So, you are spending the summer in Oregon?

J: Yeah. I've been there many times... I love Portland, if it was a little closer to here, I would probably live there.

H: Really?

J: Yeah. I love that city. I lived there for six months when first starting out at Nike and its got everything you need. And its big enough to offer a variety of things but, also small enough that it has charm. You know... have you ever been to New Orleans?

H: Yeah

J: I compare it often to New Orleans... or San Fran for that matter. And it helps that they have a chill policy and a laidback, anything goes attitude

H: The west coast is a little more relaxed

J: Yeah

H: I would have never thought you even dreamed about other cities than Nyc

J: I didn't before... and I still love Nyc, and doubt I'll ever move from here but... yeah

H: Portland seems great. I am happy for you

J: Thank you

We smile while still dancing, holding around each other, swaying on the dance floor to well known chords and words.

J: What about you? What are your plans for the summer?

H: I actually got a job offer

J: Really? For what?

H: Assistant coach for the Suns - he says proudly but, eyes my reaction closely

I stop moving for a second and my face is one big O, before I catch my breath

J: The Suns? – I sound confused, but I am very aware who the Suns are and where they are based – Phoenix?

He nods

J: Whow! That's huge.

H: Yeah

J: Congratulations

H: Thank you

J: Wow

He nods, half smiling

J: So... you are moving to Arizona?

H: Yeah. If everything goes to plan... I'll be in Arizona from next week on

J: Wow! And Madison?

H: They are staying here... we'll travel back and forth. For now.

I nod.

The night continues with more dancing and mingling with our friends and my family. 

It was a bittersweet goodbye that I was sad about, but it was unavoidable. Timing has never been on our side. Add all the worst possible scenarios thrown our way and you have a relationship bound to end.

It often felt like the universe was working against us, both when in the relationship and when in the in between. The love was there, in shapes and forms that maybe wasn't enough or like imagined for the other part. but, still there. In its purest form. But the things around us could never allay and help us, they were always scattered all over the place making it hard to be consistent and stable. But its been a wonderful love and I wouldn't take a second of it back.