I'm happy to be away from such a toxic place but now I feel like I don't have an identity anymore?
I feel like I don't belong, I'm so happy for the friendship that has been given to me but I am really good enough to be friends with anyone? How do I know if she will even want to stay friends? How do I know I won't be to much for her to want to be friends with? How do I know if I really am annoying? I hate that I have to prepare myself for someone to just want nothing to do with me all in a matter of minutes? I makes it worse because no matter how hard I try I get attached, I become dependent on that one person when I already know that I will end up getting hurt because i start to become to much for them, just like all of them, I'm over dramatic, I'm to emotional for anyone.
I hate that I come with a warnings signs of being broken and tired of being used time and time again for me to know I am broken, I am scarred, I'm tired of feeling pain and hurt, I hate knowing I will always be alone.
I hate the jealousy running through my body because I see how others are liked and loved, people like to talk to them, they like having each other.
I hate that I have so many people that I love to talk to but no one wants to talk to me? I can't stand the feeling of loneliness everywhere I go because I know I will never be the first person someone thinks of when they wake up in the morning or before they go to sleep at night, I hate how I have to keep this mindset because of how much false hope I'm given in any type of relationship, I wish I didn't have to plan for someone else to think I'm not good enough to be in someone's life?
Why can I not be loved? Why can't I be someone's just someone's person? Why can't I just feel loved?
