𝙐𝙉𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙂𝙀𝙏𝙏𝘼𝘽𝙇𝙀, 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘶𝘺𝘢. 𝘯

𝙈𝘼𝙁𝙄𝘼 ; 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧

"you.. don't know who i am?" his teary eyes glistened. "what the hell happened out there?"

"i'm not.. quite sure." you sighed, "i sustained a head injury apparently."

he ran his hands through his long hair as he nipped at his lips. "okay." he breathed out. "okay, everything is fine." he glanced over at you, as if you weren't there. "punch me."

"what?-"

"punch me. i want to know that you're here."

you raised your brows in confusion, "wouldn't it be easier to pinch you?"

"fucking punch me!"

you did as you were told, raising your hand to hit him in the jaw, causing his head to turn to the left from the hit. he rubbed his hand over his jaw.

you noticed his knuckles as he did this. they were bruised and bloody. "what.. happened to your knuckles?"

"punched a wall."

he focused back on you, standing infront of the door to his office, where he had fucked you in the earlier months.

"chuuya, i need you to tell me everything you know about me. and make it quick, the.. hospital wants me back soon." the lie rolled off your tongue. you knew the agency were enemies of the mafia, and if he knew you were there, he would kill them. because he obviously cares deeply for you.

he nodded, "what do you want to know?"

you thought about his question for a moment before deciding what you wanted to know first. "what were we?" is what you came up with.

"we were in a relationship, for about eight months. i proposed and you rejected me." he sighed out, these were still painful memories for him. "i.. rejected you? why?" your voice was soft, it brought the man comfort. hearing it again.

"fuck if i know. you didn't tell me." he scoffed, his gaze not meeting yours anymore. "what else?" his hands rested in his pockets.

"what was i doing in the mafia?"

he told you the long and agonizing story of what happened. from the moment you entered the building, to when you left. he told you about your ability, and what you did with it.

it was hard to believe. that you tortured people and were this badass in the mafia.

you swallowed the lump in your throat as he finished talking, glancing outside the window. it was later than you thought.

"shit- i have to get back to the hospital." you stood up from the love seat in the man's office, as did he.

"take my number. if there's anything else you want to know, call me. day or night, i don't care." he wrote his number on a piece of paper and handed it to you. "i don't care what it takes, im going to make you remember everything."

you nodded, taking the piece of paper from his hands and leaving the office afterwards.

dazai was going to be pissed if he knew where you were in the port mafia building. especially since chuuya knows who he is. he was mentioned more than once in his stories.

the sun set during your walk, although it was quite early. stupid winter time..

you got back to his apartment in one piece, a little nervous albeit. your hands fumbled to open the door, while you focused your breathing to the best of your abilities.

"dazai! i'm home." you set your keys on the table while stepping out of your shoes. you hadn't noticed him sitting on the couch when you entered the room.

"what were you doing at the mafia?" he rested his head on the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling while speaking to you. "i seen the page opened on your laptop last night."

"what-?" you sat down across from him in the adjacent couch. "the mafia?"

"i can't believe you." he bit his tongue from going any further, "you know, i didn't tell you all this to protect you."

"the mafia is dangerous [f/n].. they're using you for your ability." he exhaled, "i take it you talked to chuuya?"

you nodded.

"whatever he told you is a lie. he was using you, he used your body, and you fell for his tricks."

you looked at him, glaring daggers towards him. "that's not true."

he shrugged, pulling his head forwards as he focused on the tv. "who are you gonna believe then? the one who saved you, or the one who left you for dead?" he grinned to himself, "believe who you want, belladonna."

the newfound nickname made you cringe. you hated how smug he sounded. how he sounded like he won.

"i believe him over you." you watched him tense up, "why was i on that mission anyways?"

he stayed silent.

"fucking tell me, dazai!"

he swallowed as he opened his mouth to speak, "i don't know." he sighed, "i really don't know." his eyes finally met yours, "i didn't tell you because i wanted to protect you. [f/n], i love you. and i couldn't bear to see you get hurt."

your eyes widened, "you love me?"

it felt wrong to have dazai tell you he loved you after hearing chuuya talk so highly about you.. it felt like you could feel the love he felt for you.

"i have for years. hearing about how he was just.. using you, was horrid. you can't imagine how angry i felt when i found it out." you felt yourself space out as you nodded slowly, "please, i'll tell you everything. just promise me, promise me you won't go running back to him when you remember. okay?"

he told you a story that matched nowhere near up to chuuyas. it seemed.. wrong. entirely wrong. it started with your childhood, saying how dazai recruited you. how he fell head over heels with you when the two of you were fourteen, when chuuya came to the mafia, when you fell in love with him but he didn't feel the same. how you slept with dazai when you were seventeen to try and get over him, when you left the mafia and apparently stayed with dazai for awhile.

but you knew it didn't match up. the articles you found online showed that you were in tokyo within the last three years. as well, chuuya seemed more.. honest. he had the pictures to prove it, which he showed you. he had a framed photo in his office, the two of you together. told you it was within the last six months.

he even showed you the fucking ring he proposed to you with, the band that had your name and a random date engraved in it.

but dazai didn't dare mention any of that. the way he proposed. he only said that you got mad at chuuya and wanted to get back at him.

so..

who the fuck was lying?

-

i go back to school tmrw i gonna cry

i have english first thing in the morning aaaaa

ok bye