𝙐𝙉𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙂𝙀𝙏𝙏𝘼𝘽𝙇𝙀, 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘶𝘺𝘢. 𝘯

𝙇𝙐𝙋𝙄𝙉 ; 𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙚

here we gooo

"you think.." chuuya trailed off, his thoughts overtaking his words. "you think we should go find him?" he leaned back, his head hitting the head-rest above his seat.

he was annoyed.

obviously.

he was pissed off since you wanted to go find the bastard that kept you from him for almost a month, and was behind every bit of pain that chuuya had went through in the last two months.

but, hey, he couldn't force you to not go looking for him. after all, you did care for dazai. before and after everything went down.

"yeah. pretty much."

he sighed out of his nose, and shut his eyes rather tightly. if he can't see it -- then it isn't his problem. none of this was his problem. it wasn't his fault that you didn't want to marry him. it wasn't his fault that you went out and practically killed yourself. it wasn't his fault that he wasn't the one who found you. it wasn't his fault.

it wasn't his fucking fault.

he knew this was a bad idea from the beginning. it was always bad in the mafia. there were no 'good' moments. he knew he should've never gotten involved with you all those months ago. he was well aware at how stupid he was. and mori was just trying to help him by trying to get him to break everything off with you. he should've taken the chance. he knew he should've. 

but he's in too deep now.

"okay. where do you think he is?" he pinched the bridge of his nose as he watched you think carefully about where the brunette could be. "there was this bar, he talked about it a lot-"

a lightbulb practically lit over chuuyas head. "lupin. of course, that should've been the first place i would think of." he scolded himself mentally as he pulled the car into reverse, his hand reaching behind your headrest as he rotated his body behind him, making sure not to hit any cars as he reversed out of the parking lot. "it sounds familiar."

"what? lupin?" you nodded in response. "that's cause it is familiar. we went there a lot when we were teenagers." he turned down a road. "you and dazai more than me, though. he hung out with oda there, before he died. which," chuuya shut his mouth rather quickly, knowing that he probably said too much at this point. "i don't know if you ever met him, actually."

"the name doesn't ring a bell."

chuuya nodded while swallowing firmly, accepting that anything before three weeks ago pretty much never happened. small things were coming back, thankfully. but things would never actually be the same as they were before. 

would you ever love chuuya like you did before? or would you love him because he already loved you and described moments that you don't remember happening? only you would know.

"we're here." chuuya undid his seatbelt before exchanging a glance with you. "i want you to stay in here, alright? this might bring up some.. bad memories. i don't want to overload you." 

you nodded, understanding where he was coming from.

chuuya quickly got out of the car, making sure to lock it behind him as he entered the bar that he remembered so vividly. he wasn't happy to be there. he didn't want to be there. but dazai meant a lot to you, and if it meant that he would see your smile, then he would walk to the ends of the earth for you. 

he looked around cautiously, looking for the messy haired brunette before coming to the conclusion that he wasn't here. but he wouldn't give it up at that.