The Story Of Forever (Todobaku)

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As soon as the words left Katsuki's lips, he wanted to take them back.

He didn't even know what possessed him to say it. Perhaps his secret grew too heavy for his shoulders to carry. Yet now that everything was out in the open, the relief he craved was even further away than before.

Shouto was speechless. He sat beside Katsuki, mouth half open, looking as confused as he was when Katsuki tried to teach him how to play the drums for the first time.

"What?" he said.

Katsuki wasn't sure what to say, so he just nodded. Blood surged to his cheeks as he felt his throat close. If he wasn't already sitting, he would've passed out by now. Or thrown up. It was ridiculous how fragile his heart was right now, and even more ridiculous that it was his own fault he was in this predicament.

Shouto paused. With a small pout, he surveyed Katsuki's expression. "How long have you felt like this?"

"A while," Katsuki answered after an embarrassingly long silence.

He averted Shouto's gaze. How he wished he was anywhere else. If someone took Katsuki's blood pressure right now, he'd score a one way trip to the emergency room.

He peeked at Shouto from the corner of his eye. Still bundled in Katsuki's varsity jacket, Shouto's frown was deeper than it was moments prior.

Katsuki wasn't dumb. He knew where this was going. He figured Shouto was trying to spare his feelings, but dragging this out hurt way more.

He bit the inside of his lip. "It's cool if you don't feel the same way."

Shouto still didn't speak. Katsuki wanted to shake him, yell at him, tell Shouto to reject him so he could move on from these stupid feelings and they could pretend this never happened. He wasn't strong enough to walk away on his own, so Shouto had to break his heart for him.

In the end, Shouto took a slow breath.

"I didn't say that," he whispered.

Katsuki finally turned to him. Even with dried beer in his hair, he was still impossibly gorgeous. There was a timidness in his gaze, one that Katsuki wasn't sure how to interpret. Even so, Katsuki's pulse quickened as if he just ran a marathon.

"I just..." Shouto said, "I mean, I never really gave it much thought. Up until a couple minutes ago I assumed you were straight."

Their eyes remained locked on one another. Just like the evening wind against Katsuki's bare arms, Shouto's stare gave him chills. With every word spoken, Katsuki's heart clenched harder.

Hands tucked in Katsuki's jacket sleeves, Shouto retreated into himself. "I won't lie and say I've been secretly crushing on you this entire time. But that's not because I wasn't interested. It just never crossed my mind that it could be a possibility."

Katsuki would reply, but his mouth was glued shut. Shouto's words made sense, but he was still hurt by them. While it wasn't a flat out rejection, his fears were confirmed that all this time, his crush on Shouto was one-sided. 

Though when his outward demeanor reflected his inner thoughts, Shouto stretched his hand out of the oversized sleeve and clamped it over Katsuki's wrist.

"But I love being around you," he said. "I'm at my happiest when I'm with you. You get me, Katsuki. You really get me, and you always make me feel like I'm enough."

He squeezed Katsuki's wrist with purpose. Tingles traveled from Katsuki's head to his lower back. If he had no restraint, he'd lift his wrist to his mouth and kiss Shouto's fingertips.