Blu Soldier Does Stuff At A Party

Chapter 2 - The Fight Of The Century

"Soldier what in tarnation are these racoons doing in your room?" R!Engi asked. Everyone was in B!Soldier's room now, staring at either him or his racoons on the floor. "Oui, are they like, your pets? Because I have never heard of someone having *racoons* as pets," B!Spy butted in. B!Soldier scowled at them both, "THEY ARE MY PETS! I FOUND THEM IN AN ALLEY," Everyone seemed surprised at this news because, well, that's quite a normal reaction to finding out someone has racoons as pets. "Woah what, why racoons out of everything?" B!Scout asked. "SHUT UP I DO NOT HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU MAGGOTS!!!!" B!Soldier yelled, getting up from his bed and standing in front of the racoons, who were unbothered by the unexpected company. "Vell do zhey atleast haff zheir rabies shots?" R!Medic asked, basically unbothered by B!Soldier's choice in pets. "DUH!" B!Soldier stood on his toes so he could appear taller and look down on R!Medic. R!Medic was still taller. "Vell zhen I guess it really doesn't matter if you keep zhem as pets," R!Medic shrugged and left the room. Others murmured in agreement and followed suit, the only one left was R!Demo. "So ya got racoons as pets? Ay thas pretty cool," R!Demo grinned at B!Soldier who grinned back. "OF COURSE IT'S COOL! I AM THE COOLEST!!" B!Soldier was very happy at what his best friend had said. R!Demo and B!Soldier chatted for a small while until R!Demo said he was gonna go challenge his BLU counterpart to a drinking contest. B!Soldier thought that R!Demo was pretty cool for doing so. When R!Demo left, B!Soldier decided to draw some cool stuff. He had lots of fun doing so, until he got thirsty. So he went to get the absolute best drink ever, aka, a small carton of grape juice.

B!Soldier has started his dangerous and treacherous journey to the kitchen. Well it was actually quite easy to do, all he had to do was walk down a hall, threw the main room, and into the kitchen.

Shocking.

B!Soldier excitedly went over to the fridge and opened it, expecting at least three small grape juice cartons. But there was....

Only two left. B!Soldier literally didn't care though. He grabbed the two cartons and weighed them in his hands. Most would've said that there is literally no difference but B!Soldier knew better. He picked the one he deemed better and set the reject back in the fridge. As B!Soldier walked away, happily drinking his drink, he bumped into someone and fell on his ass. Hard. It hurt his tailbone like hell, and to top it all off, he spilt his grape juice. All. Over. Himself. B!Soldier was shocked, upset, and so fucking pissed off he was on the verge of angry tears. Both Soldiers got mad very easily, especially B!Soldier. He would get angry as shit if the texture of something was off, or if he couldn't find something. And if something didn't "solve" his anger, he would keep getting angrier and angrier until he ran off and had something along the lines of a mental breakdown, he fought someone and won (which would make him happier but if he lost he'd get even angrier), or he started having something like a tantrum where he throws shit and tries to/successfully breaks stuff until he nearly passes out from exhaustion. Everyone, even the REDs knew this. Some of the mercs have described B!Soldier as just dramatic, others (like both medics, mainly R!Medic though) have said that maybe it's a mental thing, but nobody can pinpoint *why* B!Soldier gets so pissed off. So, when B!Soldier looked up and saw that it was R!Heavy he had bumped into, he decided that this COMMUNIST had purposefully stepped in his way and screwed everything up just to make him look like a fool. "HEY WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT, COMMIE?!" B!Soldier stood up, a bit unsteady, and glared up at R!Heavy. R!Heavy was confused, "Firstly, Heavy is not communist. Secondly, what do you mean 'why did Heavy do that', what did I do?" R!Heavy was speaking calmly, noticing that B!Soldier was covered in grape juice. He did not want B!Soldier to get any angrier. He wanted B!Soldier to calm down so they could talk this out like rational people, instead of having a childish quarrel. 

But when dealing with B!Soldier, or really either Soldier, that is impossible.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?? YOU PURPAS- PURPES- PURPOSELY STEPPED IN FRONT OF ME SO I WOULD FALL AND SPILL MY DRINK ON MYSELF SO I WOULD LOOK LIKE A FOOL YOU DIRTY COMMUNIST!!" B!Soldier stammered a bit. He was so angry that it felt hard to say big words.  B!Soldier felt his throat constrict a bit. He didn't want to start crying, even if they were angry tears. In B!Soldier's eyes, crying was something weak people did. "Heavy vould never! Maybe you should vatch vhere you're going, dummkopf!" B!Medic had been standing with R!Heavy, talking with him. "YEAH I BETTER WATCH WHERE I'M GOING AROUND THIS COMMIE! WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE'S GONNA GIVE OUR INFA- INFORME- INFORMATION TO HIS COMMIE GAV- GOVERNMENT!" B!Soldier stammered more. He was so mad he couldn't think straight. He didn't know why he was so mad, he knew deep down it was only grape juice. B!Soldier pushed those thoughts to the very back of his mind, he wouldn't let the communist win! "Jou cannot even talk properly! Vhat are you, a child? Because you sure act like one!" B!Medic was sick of B!Soldier's bullshit. "I AM NOT A CHILD!" B!Soldier kept getting angrier. He stamped his foot and glared at B!Medic. R!Heavy looked between the two desperately, knowing his plan to calm B!Soldier down would fail if B!Medic kept taunting B!Soldier. "Docktor! Stay out of it. Please?" B!Medic sighed and walked away muttering. R!Heavy turned to B!Soldier. "Soldier, Heavy is not communist, do not worry. Heavy is sorry for being in your way while you were walking, but Heavy did not do it on purpose." R!Heavy was trying to be rational, while taking the blame for what happened. R!Heavy hoped B!Soldier would calm down since he was not getting angry back. 

It didn't work.

"Oi! Heavy don't take the blame for that wanker being a clumsy ass who doesn't look at where he's goin'!" One of the snipers called out while others murmured in agreement. B!Soldier kept getting more pissed. His throat tightened as he tried to not cry in anger while he started yelling at R!Heavy about how much of a communist he is. R!Heavy was getting pissed off himself. How dare B!Soldier call him a communist? How dare he call him that, when him and his family suffered so much from the work of communists while B!Soldier probably relaxed in his suburban house with his family in some midwestern state or something, living a comfortable childhood. B!Soldier didn't know jack shit about what commies have done. He probably just hates him because he was told to. R!Heavy was absolutely pissed by the time B!Soldier paused to take a breath. R!Heavy was so pissed that straight up shoved B!Soldier onto the floor, "HEAVY IS NOT COMMUNIST!" R!Heavy yelled, his voice loud as shit. B!Soldier stared up at R!Heavy in shock and fear while other cheered. 

"Yo! Fight fight fight!" "Bloody hell! Not my friend! "Oh my!" "Huddah huddah!". 

Many cheered for B!Soldier and R!Heavy to fight. R!Demo didn't want them to fight, he knew B!Soldier could get badly hurt, seeing how pissed R!Heavy was. B!Soldier didn't care. He stood up. "IF YOU ARE NOT A FILFTY COMMIE THEN FIGHT ME! NO COMMUNIST CAN BEAT ME!" B!Soldier challenged R!Heavy. Deep down, B!Soldier didn't want to fight. He was scared. He would never admit that though. "Da, Heavy will fight!". So can you guess what they did? That's right they had a tea party!

Just kidding B!Soldier got his ass kicked so badly he ran off sobbing. 

At first R!Heavy didn't feel bad, but after a minute or two passed, he definitely did. R!Heavy thought about how B!Soldier had run off crying. R!Heavy was so angry he didn't realize how hard he was hitting him. Thinking about it, he could've sworn he heard one, maybe even two, heck, maybe three even, of B!Soldier's ribs cra- "HEAVY! Are jou even listening??" R!Heavy looked down at B!Medic, who was pouting. "Sorry docktor, Heavy just feels bad about what I did to Soldier," B!Medic frowned. "Ja I dislike zhat dummkopf but even I felt bad about he ran off sobbing." The two sat in silence for a good minute. "Hey, vhy don't ve go look for him? Jou can apologise and I'll heal him!" B!Medic grinned up at R!Heavy. He may not like B!Soldier too much, but he doesn't want his friend to feel bad. R!Heavy's face lit up at this idea, "Da!" He stood up, "Come, let's go docktor!" B!Medic stood up aswell, happy that he had made his friend feel better. "Let's check his room first,"

So they checked.

Nothing.

R!Heavy was a bit worried. "Okay vell maybe he's vith R!Demo?" B!Medic suggested.

So they went to R!Demo.

Nothing.

After the two had double, no, TRIPLE-CHECKED the whole BLU base and found nothing, they were more worried then ever. "Maybe Soldier is in woods around base?" R!Heavy was the most worried of the two, knowing that B!Soldier hadn't been healed yet. "It's ze middle of vinter! It's freezing out zhere!" B!Medic was right, it was snowing more then ever. "It is only place left to check," B!Medic sighed," You're right. And surely he couldn't have gone *zhat* far, I mean, vith his injures..." B!Medic's voice trailed off, not wanting to upset R!Heavy. "Da, let's go." R!Heavy grabbed B!Medic's hand and dragged him away, the the front door the the base. "Vell zhen, let's go find him, ja?" "Da."

END OF CHAPTER TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!