A Time and Place for Us

Friends and foes, and heartbreak all around

A very long chapter to make up for my absence. Enjoy xxx

Empty, both their cabin and Sweeney Todd.

The guilt would surely come later, as would the despair, aiding his perennial self-hatred in tightening the proverbial noose around his neck. But for now he was numb, unable to feel anything but the sharp loneliness as he entered the deserted room. Of course she would not be there. She must have run straight to Harold Wilson's arms and he was once again alone, with no one but himself to blame.

Again, the contrast between what he wanted now and months ago could not be more acute. He used to long for the day the annoying Mrs. Lovett found another object of fascination, another target for her overbearing obsession. Now he would give anything to have her by his side, even if she talked nonstop and could not stay quiet. With her flaws, he loved her, not in spite of them.

"Because I loved you" she'd said, in past tense. Her words haunted him, as did her eyes full of panic and the small rubies dripping down her alabaster skin. He did not kill her in the actual sense of the world, fortunately, but he was certain he'd just murdered her heart. And just like that, he was probably dead to her, and he did not know how he could keep on living.

Without her, without the chance to grow old together, to raise their baby. That second chance he was so grateful for, squandered. Could he say he was surprised? He did not deserve to be happy.

He looked around, taking in the room they still shared, though he suspected it would not be for long. The book she was currently reading was placed on her nightstand and he picked it up. Love at sea was the title and he just knew it was one of her romance novels he pretended to judge her for. In reality, he was in awe of how she could just escape their bleak reality and fantasise about love as if she'd never been hurt.

Her dresses laid on the bed. One was black and green, beaded, despite it being better fit for a ball the ever-dashing Eleanor used it as a day dress. She looked stunning in it, did he ever tell her? He could not remember. The other one was just as beautiful and detailed with black lace over the cream bodice. It was the one she wore on their last night on Fleet Street. He closed his eyes as the memories flooded in, exacerbated by the presence of the fine dress Harold Wilson gifted her next to it.

Soon she'll know splendours she never has dreamed, with him. And she could burn the cheap dress, like she could burn every memory of that night and perhaps even those of him. To move on with her new husband and on to her new life.

He wished he could do the same.

His razor, the only one from his original set that he kept in his possession, had been burning in his palm ever since he picked up. He looked at it, but instead of finding comfort, his reflection on its silver blade mocked him, reminding him of what he'd done, of what he was. For the first time he saw it not as a friend but a foe. Perhaps it had been all along, an enabler in his self-destruction. And suddenly, all he could think about was to see it burn. To burn the reminder of the monster he'd become until the flames consumed it in its totality.

And sooner rather than later, they would be reunited in hell.

As if the razor could read its owners thoughts, it suddenly slipped out of his grasp, falling inside of Nellie's open travel bag and into temporary safety. He fished for it, but his hand kept getting itself entangled with her many garments and trinkets. Thus, he decided to take them out so he could search for the razor.

As he did so, something got his attention, making him stop dead in his tracks.

***

"I want to wed as soon as we have the chance, dearest. I am aware and I respect your desire not to have a grand wedding but surely you will want your brother there and other relatives if you have them. They will come to America with all expenses paid, naturally. I do want my family there too, of course, especially my brothers Gerry and Bart, and my sister Bertha. Gerry would have to travel from England as well, but I do not have a doubt that my younger brother will be in attendance. We have a very close relationship, even if we have not seen each other in a while" Harold spoke, his excitement palpable in his voice.