BAU Group Chat +YN

BAU Groupchat.

11.06 am

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man) added Y/N.

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
Hello. I have been in contact with Strauss and some fellow unit chiefs. They informed me that they have a group chat to quickly and conveniently convey messages amongst one another.

David RounMeOverWithYourCar:
Is this why you made me download what's up?

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
Whatsapp? And yes, this is why. I hope we can use this to help each other.

Derek Morgasm:
Why are you two texting like it's a case report 😖😩😒

Emily PressMyTits:
Not you doing it too Morgan?????????

Jennifer JaThrowMeAcrossTheRoom:
This is a really good idea 😊 😁

Spencer ReidMeToFilth:
I don't know. I feel like this could go very badly 😟

PenMeAgainstTheWall Garcia:
Sweet genius boy using emojis makes me want to cry happy tears 😭 😿

Spencer ReidMeToFilth:
Thank you. Y/n showed me how to yesterday and I wanted to try them out today.

PenMeAgainstTheWall Garcia:
Thank you y/n for this blessing 🙏🙇

Y/n:
My pleasure?????? It was fun and it stopped him reciting the digits of pi to me 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Emily PressMyTits:
Are we going to ignore Spencer's pessimism? How is this going to end badly boy genius?

Derek Morgasm:
That is a big word for a little brain 🧠

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
Morgan. Let's refrain from insulting our team members.
Prentiss, you are a valued member of our team.

Spencer ReidMeToFilth:
This is why I was worried. Don't be mean to each other.

Jennifer JaThrowMeAcrossTheRoom:
Don't worry Spence. They don't mean it because they love each other secretly ❤️ 😍 💕

Emily PressMyTits:
Morgan we are going to have a lot of problems if you keep this shit up

David RounMeOverWithYourCar:
Let's not start swearing

Emily PressMyTits:
You swear all the time FS why pick on me when Morgan is the problem here????

Derek Morgasm:
You use too much punctuation I swear you are so dramatic bitch 🙄 😒

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
Both of you should stop now. Swearing isn't needed and Morgan, stop picking on Prentiss. Now get to work because I know everyone here has lots of work to do.

PenMeAgainstTheWall Garcia:
Sorry, who is this we? I haven't done anything for the whole day because we haven't had a case in so long I might die. My beautiful brain needs to be put to use or it will rot away, sir.

David RounMeOverWithYourCar:
I know, kiddo. It's worrying how long we have gone without a case. Maybe we should ask Strauss about it. Why isn't she on the chat?

Derek Morgasm:
Leave the dry bitch out of it. You don't need to go lowering our group dynamics to the pits of hell just to get your dick wet 💦

Jennifer JaThrowMeAcrossTheRoom:
I might not agree with all of that but Strauss might be a bad idea for us 😨

Emily PressMyTits:
Why are you acting all professional about it? She is a bitch and none of us like her so that's why

Y/n:
I might be new but she isn't my type of friend sorry 💔 Rossi

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
This is why I opted not to add her but thank you for your input, Dave. Now everyone should get to work. Penelope, I have sent some work over for you to do.

David RounMeOverWithYourCar:
Thank you. I can understand why you left her out. If anyone would like to come and speak to me about my relationship with Strauss then you can.

Emily PressMyTits:
She a freak in the sheets and an alcoholic in the streets?

Derek Morgasm:
👀 you don't hold your punches do you? 👀

Jennifer JaThrowMeAcrossTheRoom:
Em, love you but that's a bit much 😚

Spencer ReidMeToFilth:
Does too far mean funny? Is that why JJ is laughing? I thought it meant that someone was overstepping boundaries.

PenMeAgainstTheWall Garcia:
No, sweety. It means what you think it means but JJ is trying to act like a professional xx

Spencer ReidMeToFilth:
Oh, okay. Thank you. Did you wish I was dead? I didn't mean to hurt you but xx tells me what I need to know.

PenMeAgainstTheWall Garcia:
Xx are kisses. For a genius who studies linguistics you are pretty stupid xx

Y/n:
Are we just going to skip over Prentiss and her valid & hilarious comment that was highly inappropriate????

Emily PressMyTits:
OM- I didn't realise I sent it! I got distracted when I saw a squirrel climbing the window. I am so sorry please ignore it 🙏

David RounMeOverWithYourCar:
That was incredibly rude but there is a lot of truth in it and I can now fully understand why Aaron didn't add her to the group.

Derek Morgasm:
Ooh. Rossi is going to see Hotch. He's snitching and Emily is gonna get what she fucking deserves FIRED! 🔥

Emily PressMyTits:
No! 😭 😢

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
Emily Prentiss. That was not appropriate and if you pull that stunt again I will make you answer to her in person. Also, Derek, language like that isn't appropriate.

Derek Morgasm:
Emily Prentiss???? Not Em getting the full legal name in a text message.

Y/n:
😂🫣😳🤣😅😂😆😁😄😃😀

Emily PressMyTits:
😒😩🫣😐😶🫥🫢🫠🙃🙂😳😲😯😮☹️🙁😟🫤😕🥺😦😧😨😰😥😢😭😱😖😣😞😓😩😫🥱😤😠🤚

Agent Hotchner (Boss Man):
That is ENOUGH for today. Get to work, this is your final warning. None of the other units have a chat this inappropriate.

A/N: first chapter down. I hope you liked it. I went slow and not too silly because Hotch needs to warm up to them!!!! It's also a lot shorter than I am hoping the rest will be 😘