insanity..

comes to an end

I watched as her long lushes hair sweep from side to side. Wishing to be the one beside her, but fearing the feeling of those actions. As I watched and watched, I realized I wasn't the only one staring at that shining star. Everyone else wished to be her, or to be with her. Who am I to think these types of stuff? I'm no man, I'm no boy, in the end I'm just a child struggling in the hands of one. Closing the lockers to walking home and laying in bed, I felt my self falling into a deep darkness and wishing I would never come back up. I saw her hair, her face, her eyes all so beautiful. I reached to feel her soft skin, but what was this that I was feeling? Why did I feel so present but so vanished at the same time. I gasped for a whip of air just to realize that this wasn't real. All just a dream, stupid to think I could ever have the chance to be with such a girl.  It's not true, tell me I've been lied to?.. I can't handle the pain...what the hell did I do? I have never been the type to let someone see right through..  I wish how I could be with her.. it hurts so much... my heart.  Going to school is like getting sentenced to life in prison, I spend most of my time not learning but wishing and wondering how I got this life and why I couldn't be like the others. They have friends, family, love, and trust. What do I have?nothing, I'm the ugly duckling. Once a mistake always a mistake huh? My only friend is myself because that's all I have. I love her but she loves someone I could never be. The smile she gave me even when all we were strangers walking past each other. Yet I felt like her smile would save my problems, the lights would turn on, the darkness would become light.