Lilly & Leclerc ~ [CL 16]

18. Doorway

We're about to hit 50k?! (How??) thank you ❤️

There's no reasoning to it, but I find myself stuck with Charles. Even when he's countries away, over the last four weeks we've remained stuck together.

We had agreed when Charles left London to stay in touch and both took the pact very seriously. I promised to not get freaked out, or at least try not to. Charles promised that if I did panic he'd be right there to make my irrational thoughts...well, rational.

For the most part it had been working well, we had been texting non-stop about details of our days. Who had irritated both of us, what had been good and at some point in most days Charles sent me a photo of wherever he was. Each time it was beautiful. Sometimes he even included himself in the photo, smiling softly in front of an orange sunset or in the mirror of a gym as he worked on the bikes there - those were my favourite. I sent him a picture of my lilies which, after ten days, wilted in the summer heat of the apartment. Throwing them in the bin felt like an act worthy of declaring a war, Charles had laughed when I told him how torn I was about the whole thing, but even he agreed I couldn't be a home to rotting flowers forever - much to Maddie's relief.

After his win in Austria I received a FaceTime call, his trophy in hand as he grinned at me saying "Better than last time Fleur?". I had only laughed and agreed it was so much better, his smile making the whole thing the greatest of all. Charles in a positive mood is something else, he was cheeky and borderline glowing as he flirted shamelessly through the phone.nI found my cheeks heating as I giggled through the flirtatious conversation trying to match his level of batter but I just couldn't. Each time I managed to fluster him in the slightest he just replied in French, speaking fast with warm eyes and watching with entertainment when I stuttered in my spot.

I had been invited to at least four races by him when he was drunk on the high of crowds cheering his name (and a little champagne). Each time I had laughed and said 'I'll have to check with work' - it wasn't an excuse. I'm starting to think that, if Charles invited me, I'd be at every weekend my annual leave allowed me to attend.

The day after his first place celebration another bunch of flowers came to my door. The bouquet made up of scarlet red roses, the bunch of them bigger than the last and paired with a note that read 'ferrari red and Fleurs, my favourite things'. My heart fluttered with the note, laughing at the cheesiness of his words. I'd set them in the same spot as the lilies, next to my Ferrari pass, the red of the flowers matching the lanyard perfectly before sending him a photo of the flowers.

However, after that it all seemed to go downhill.

The last two races have drained Charles. The tone of his texts becoming markedly more negative as the days pass, he's exhausted (mentally and physically) whilst trying to keep the hopes of his entire team neatly balanced on his shoulders. Turns not only did he almost run the team, they needed him and relied on him a lot - more than I realised. His grief at losing out on vital points (both for himself and the team) was barely allowed to be explored. He had to be level headed and calm around everyone - something he was desperate not to be considering the constant mishandlings from his team.

His restraint was beginning to waiver though. That fact was and remains clear to me. "I don't know what to say to them sometimes Lilly." Charles had said over the phone last Sunday his voice quiet and lacking the enthusiasm it held last time after a race. I'd only smiled sadly at him, comforting him that it would get better, even if I didn't know it would. Because it couldn't get worse.