Lilly & Leclerc ~ [CL 16]

40. Cars

Yas Marina, Abu Dhabi
14th December 2025

Daniel rounds off his speech with
a joke that makes everyone around me laugh. The grin I force onto my face in time with the chuckles is strained and uncomfortable. I didn't hear his joke, I've barely been able to hear a single word of his speech. Instead of celebrating I feel suffocated. Choking even in the wide open air of the upper deck of the yacht where Daniel's farewell to Red Bull and the sport he loves so much is taking place. I can't focus on a word of what's being said or happening because all I can feel is Charles.

Charles with his burning green gaze on me. Charles who is standing around fifteen feet away from me and looking better than ever, an unfair achievement but one that I'm not shocked by, even after two years.

This whole weekend I've been on high alert, looking out for (and actively avoiding) Charles has been a never ending task. For the last 36 hours I've been in a constant turmoil of being desperate to see him, and desperately terrified that if I did something awful would happen. Maybe I would find out some information I didn't need to know, or see something that I didn't want to see. So, naturally, I came to the conclusion that avoiding Charles entirely was the best solution.

It's already been over two years, what's a lifetime more?

It has all been working well. I stuck in the Red Bull hospitality areas, hid at the hotel pool outside of race sessions and volunteered to take over babysitting duties of Miele wherever possible. It had been working well; until tonight.

Of course all of the drivers would be here, of course that would include Charles. If George could make the time to drop in after winning his first world championship of course Charles would be here. Why shouldn't he be? I should have known he would be here. I should have thought, prepared for it more. I should have gave myself a pep talk in the mirror as I put my makeup on. I should have offered to stay at the hotel with Miele, or accepted the invite of one of the engineers who had excitedly advertised parties in Dubai after the race all weekend.

I should have known that Charles would find me even in a crowd of people, just as I always seem to be able to find him. Every single time. I've always been pulled to him, from the moment we (literally) fell into each other on the streets of Monaco. So why would tonight be any different? Even after two years, of course it would be the same. Why would anything change? Of course Charles's shining green eyes would find my own and make me feel like I'm free falling even when there's a group of at least a hundred people between us.

So when Miele begins to whine in Amber's arms and sniffle in warnings of a full blown tantrum I swoop in just like I've been trained to over the last eighteen months. "I'll take her." I hum to Amber almost silently, snatching my red-cheeked-neice from her arms with a waved hand in answer to her concerned questions.

I duck behind and between emotional engineers and sponsors each congratulating eachother, their drivers and (of course) Daniel for all the success of the season. I smile at the people who wave at me in an excited greeting as I push my way from the top deck and down into the lower where to the right there's a small twin cabin with enough space to soothe my whining niece. The space is more enclosed and yet, I can breathe easier without the immediate threat of Charles. When Miele wriggles uncomfortably in my hold, hot tears streaming down her cheeks it pulls me back into reality.

"Oh darling," I coo, bouncing Miele on my hip as I sway her side to side hushing her softly. Her tiny body was overtired and overwhelmed by the whole day, the excitement of the final race of the F1 season and her Father's career. I can't help but feel the same way. "I know, I don't think I want to be here either bubs." I coo softly to Mimi as she whines in my arms, squirming uncomfortably until I hold her closer lacing a gentle kiss to the crown of her head and hushing in the way which usually calms her tiny body. After another long moment filled with shushes her head shifts and a calm breath rattles through her being paired with a final sniffle. Her body softens, as if giving into the tiredness she's been battling against all evening. I can't help but wish I was joining her in the light slumber, at least then this emotionally exhausting day would be over.