Lilly & Leclerc ~ [CL 16]

28. I do

Have fun!

"Broke his heart cause he was nice" - Midnight Rain, Taylor Swift

"Lilly..." Charles repeats my name, I get my wish but I don't enjoy it. It just makes the sickness swell in me more. His voice isn't filled with excitement of happiness as it usually would be, just complete surprise. Or maybe shock is the better description.

"I'm going to go, Lorenzo is picking me up in a few minutes." Arthur chokes out clearly uncomfortable with the tension between us. I nod in acknowledgement of his words as Arthur waves a goodbye to me, Charles mumbles quiet thanks in French before his brother slips out. The air lies so heavy between us I can see why Arthur wanted to escape. If I could escape with him I'd try, but that's kind of what got us into this mess.

"Fleur," Charles almost gasps the familiar nickname I've missed hearing so much. It forces my eyes to tear from the liquid in my mug to him. His expression has flattened, his lips forming a firm unsure line and eyes firmer than what I'm used to when I look at him. It makes me straighten in my spot, my shoulders rolling back in defence as silence crackles around us. Charles is teetering on the line of disbelief I'm actually here and...something else I can't quite pick up on.

"I-"

"What are you doing here?" Charles asks at the same moment I open my mouth. His question stalls me in my place, especially because of the harsh tone it comes with. It's almost accusing. My heart sinks slowly in my chest as I force myself to try and keep my composure.

"I came here to..." Why exactly did I come here? To tell him I love him? To tell him everything's okay and I'm sorry? That I'm more than sorry, for everything?

"To?" Charles prompts and the firm tone of his question makes me blink. His expression hasn't lightened from before, his eyes are darker than they normally are as he shifts in his spot but he doesn't approach me, no matter how much I'm wishing he would. He just leans against the wall folding his arms across his chest as I force a shaky breath. I don't know what to do with the cold radiating from him, especially at such a large distance. The metres between us feel like miles.

"To apologise." I decide on the word, because above all things that's what is most necessary. I shift in my spot placing the mug down on the sleek black coffee table to my left and face Charles, head on. Without something to grip my fingers tremble and there's an echo of doubt somewhere in my mind about this whole thing as I swallow heavily. Tears have sprang up to my eyes and sting at them as I clear my throat to continue my speech. "I'm so sorry for doing...that Charles. You didn't deserve it at all, I can see how wrong it was now." The words fall from me without much thought, I'm thankful they come easy and at least make sense unlike my scrambled internal thoughts.

Charles just nods in vague acknowledgement of my fumbled apology. He doesn't quite accept the words, but he doesn't counter them or make any sort of comment. I'm choked waiting for something from him but he doesn't offer a thing. Infact, he turns his body away from me and my heart feels as though it's going to fall out of my chest as hot white panic hits me.

I knew there was a possibility that if I came here he would tell me to go to hell, that I've wasted too many chances from him. I just never imagined it would actually happen. The naive part of me thought that he would just welcome me back into his world with open arms. I never wanted this to happen.

I should have never allowed this to happen.

"Loving you is emotional torture Lilly." Charles grits out quietly, his back to me, the muscles tense as he rolls his shoulders and shakes his head. The sentence makes my eyes widen and lips part.