Tʜɪs ⵊs Hᴏᴍᴇ | ᴛʀᴀɴs!Tᴜʙʙᴏ AU

Wʜᴇɴ ⵊ'ᴍ Rᴇᴀᴅʏ, ⵊ Wɪʟʟ Fʟʏ Us Oᴜᴛ Oꜰ Hᴇʀᴇ

TW// cussing, crying, dysphoria/not liking ur body?, Misgendering, deadnaming

Tubbo's POV
like another maybe two weeks later cus why not I am a lazy mofo

I hadn't really made any friends at school. I didn't talk to anyone besides Tommy. We had all but one of our classes together, and it was my last class of the day. Tommy had been complaining that one of his friends had been out sick for a while, and he wanted to introduce me to said friend. He said he felt like we would get along.

We were in the sitting room, and I was silent as usual, Techno was doing some homework, and Tommy and Wilbur were play-arguing. We had just gotten back home from school not too long ago.

"Aleshaaa..." Tommy groaned.

Tubbo.

"Alesha, tell Wilbur that I'm right and he's wrong."

It's Tubbo.

"No, Alesha, I'm the right one!" Wilbur said back.

Toby works too! What are they arguing over, even if it's fake.

"Nooo...I'm right. Just because you're older, doesn't mean you're wiser. In fact, I'm the wisest man in this house! Ain't that right, Alesha?" Tommy nudged my arm.

Please, just tell them call you Tubbo or Toby. I told myself, They'd accept you, right?

"Alesha?" Wilbur asked.

Just tell them.

"Alesha, are you alright?" Tommy asked.

I can't.

"Hey, Alesha?!" That was Techno.

They'd hate me, send me back.

"Dad! Something's wrong with Alesha!" I could hear Tommy's worry.

Everything was spinning and I just wanted to curl up and die. I felt hands on my shoulders but the figure was blurry. Wait, am I crying? I don't think so?

I could hear my name, or, deadname being said, but I couldn't tell who was saying it.

I felt trapped in my seat by the figures next to me and in front of me, holding my arms. I felt as though I couldn't breathe until I wasn't surrounded anymore.

"Just- Just shut the fuck up!" I suddenly said, sort of unintentionally. The hands let go of me and I held the sides of my head at the sudden quietness. I hadn't swore in front of them before. I'd barely spoke, let alone cuss. "Quit- just quit talking...quit saying my name, quit- quit touching me."

It was quiet as could be. I looked up and noticed that Phil was crouched in front of me in the floor. He looked concerned, worried. As did the other three.

I stood up and quickly walked away to the restroom. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. No wonder they don't suspect anything, I thought, I'm noting but a girl, it's clear as day.

My hair was long, my eyelashes were long, my lips were small, my nose was small, I was small, my hips slightly curved, and I didn't necessarily have a small chest.

I gripped my hands in my hair, pulling on it, letting myself cry.

"I don't know what happened, dad! Wil and I were messing around and I tried to get Alesha to take my side and she stared to panic like I scared her or something!" I heard Tommy say, his voice muffled through the few walls between us.

Alesha, she, her, that's all I fucking am. To them, at least.

It then dawned on me that I was never able and never will be able to come out to my family. I knew they supported, but I had blown my opportunity, and now they're gone. That made me cry even more.

The only person I had ever came out to was my old friend. They were my only friend, and an amazing one, at that. His name was Ranboo.

I then spotted a pair of small scissors on a shelf in an open cabinet.

Words: 635