TW// dysphoria, crying, unsafe binding, falling asleep while binding
Tubbo's POV
I felt a pit grow in my stomach as I felt my chest. They may see me as a boy now, but I'll never be one, I thought.
"Tubbo, you ok?" Tommy asked. I now noticed that he was the one who hugged me. I looked up at him, nodding, and pulling out of the hug with my arms wrapped around my chest. I looked down at the floor, chewing on my lip.
"I'm- I'm gonna go." I said, clearing my throat and waking up the stairs. "Are you ok?" Tommy asked form the bottom of the steps. I nodded, though I'm not sure he could see it, and disappeared around the corner.
I jetted into my bedroom, shutting and locking the door. I began to look for something that I could maybe try to hide my chest with, as I didn't own a binder.
This oversized shirt? No, that wouldn't work good.
A tighter bra? Wait, I only own them in one size.
Multiple sports bras? Well, that doesn't work as much as I'd like it to.
I was about to give up, when I spotted a roll of ace bandages. I quickly tried to push the thought away, knowing that wasn't safe. I didn't even know why those were in my room. Maybe someone else used to be in this room and they accidentally left it in the drawer.
I looked at the bandages. No, I can't, that's not safe, I thought. But, then again, it was my best option. The roll was full, it had never been touched, so it's not like I would run out anytime soon.
I decided, fuck it, and I took off my shirt and the current bra I was wearing, and wrapped the bandages around me without a second thought. If I thought about it, I would probably decide not to.
When I was done, I put my shirt back on and looked into my mirror, seeing my nearly completely flat chest.
I stood there for a moment, silent, before letting myself cry.
I'm such an idiot, I thought, I don't wanna take it off but it's gonna hurt me if I don't. I'll regret it, I know I will, but I just...can't.
The compressing feeling made me feel safe, it was welcoming. And looking at myself with short hair and a flat chest made me feel more like myself.
I heard a knock at my door. I quickly wiped my tears and silently hopped into my bed so whoever was about to come in wouldn't see my flat chest and know I was doing something I shouldn't be.
Another knock.
"Tubbo?" Phil's voice said quietly. I pretend I was sleeping. I heard my door creek open. "Oh...sorry." He whispered, shutting my door back.
I was going to get back up to take these off before going to sleep, but tiredness and exhaustion overtook me. I tried to pull myself out of the bed, but sleep washed over me, and I was soon out like a light.
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Tʜɪs ⵊs Hᴏᴍᴇ | ᴛʀᴀɴs!Tᴜʙʙᴏ AU
FanfictionToby/Tubbo, better know as Alesha by the people around him, was put into the foster system when he was fourteen after a tragic incident in his family when he was eleven. His home, which was located on the more dangerous side of town, was robbed, res...
