With broken hands ~Jaskier and Geralt~

I love you Jaskier

~ Jaskier POV ~

Me and Geralt sing together and it feels like nothing has happend. His voice is dark but beautiful and he plays the song so easy on the lute. Once the song is finished I sit down next to him.

'When did you learn how to play.' He smiles at me.

'When you left. I mean you were not realy with me so I practised in secret. Even before I asked you if you could teach me. I already asked to other people to learn me to play the lute way before.' He lays my lute down and sits closer to me.

'Why?' I asked. I mean why would he learn to play the lute when he is a witcher. He doesn't need that fame.

'For you. I wanted to do this for you. To make you happy.'  Geralt smiles at me and tilts his head a bit to the right. I blush a bit but quickly hide it.

'Also you can sing pretty good.' I laugh at him and he laughs as well.

'Oh shut up Jaskier.' He hits my upperarm softly. I laugh even harder and lay down.

'I still don't forgive you though. You were pretty mean.' I switch to this subject since I still have a lot to say. Geralt lifts me up again and grabs my face.

'I get it and you don't have to. I hurt you and I know it. I have been so mean to you for no reason. I am so sorry and I get is you don't forgive me. If you want I can go back to the town tomorrow and leave you with Harvey. Do know I care about you Jaskier.' I begin to think about the last time he left me. What if he tries to tell me now that he want to leave. I begin to cry. No he can't leave again.

'No. I want you to stay with me.' I try to say while sobbing. Tears are streaming down my face Geralt wipes them away with his thumb.

'Hey don't cry. Look at me. I wil never leave you ever again okay. Do you understand. I will not leave you. You are okay. Got it?' I nob. 'Good.' 

'Yeah. We should go to bed.' I want to pull my face out of his hand but he doesn't let me. I just want to forget this.

'Julian.' I look at him in shock. He never calls me by my real name.

'Yes?'

'I love you.' I look down.

'I know.' I smile without my eyes and try to leave his grasp again.

'No. You don't get it. I love you.'

'Geralt are you trying to hurt my feelings. It has already happend. Lets just go to bed okay.' I look at him again.

'Sorry Jaskier.'

'No. Don't be. You just wanted to make me feel better.'

'Yeah. Let's go to bed.'

'Yeah.' I walk to my own sleeping bag and lay down. I am very tired so I fall asleep quickly.

~ Geralt POV ~

I can't believe I am doing this. I just promised him I would never leave but I have too. He is slowing me down and I am holding him back from doing what he wants. He loves Harvey clearly and I am the reason why they don't date. Yes I love him but I also can forget him I hope. I did it before and I will do it now. He is just an annoying bard right. I don't need him. I take all the bags with my stuff even though there are also things of him in it but I don't care. If I don't leave now I will regret it and not leave and that is no good for both of us.

The next morning.

I wake up in my sleeping bag. I look around and see no Geralt and no Roach.

'Geralt? GERALT'  I walk around screaming and then see my notebook laying open.

I'm sorry Jaskier but I need to go after Ciri. I love you but we can't be together.

'No. Don't do this to me. Geralt no. Don't leave me. Not again. I can't lose you again. Please say.' I fall down to the ground crying. He did it again. Every time. Why. I tried to be the perfect travel compenion. I tried so hard and this is what I get. I don't deserve this. Wait, I don't deserve him. He did this so many times and I still came grawling back. It is time for me to be on my own. Fuck him. Fuck everyone.