Relationship Ruined //Joey and Connor

The First Date (Memory #1)

(June 1, 2015)

Oh. My. Freaking. God.. I was way too nervous. I was just too scared that this wouldn't work out. All I could think about is it ruining our friendship.

I mean, is it harder to date someone you already know- and know a lot about? I guess you pretend not to know much. You have to get a little more intimate... I don't know.

We have been talking a lot since the beginning of May. Joey told me he was gay in March, or the very beginning of April.

I was just so excited for him, and a little excited for me. I've always had a little crush on him.

He always made me laugh no matter what, plus he made everything fun and made me happy. His smile always would light my face up, and his eyes were so enchanting. I always thought he was a little perfect.

But we talked a lot more after he came out to me. We got so much more closer which made me happy.

Finally one day I got brave. We made plans to go to the dog park with Wolf, since I'm in love with that dog, and afterwards we would get dinner. I planned out that after dinner and when we would go our separate ways I would ask him on a date.

It worked out. He said yes! All my nerves just disappeared.

I said the following Sunday we will go have a picnic. I know, I'm so boring and dull. To me it's romantic.

There is a good spot by a mountain where people hike. You can watch the sunset go down on the water and it's so just breath taking.

Still, way too nervous.

I went to the bathroom and got a quick shower. I used my real good body wash and shampoo. The body wash smelled like vanilla and sugar, and the shampoo smelled so much like coconuts. I just wanted to smell sweet, I guess?

I walked out of the shower and mapped out my outfit. I told him we can just be casual, so I got a short sleeve button down and dark blue jeans.

It'll be good enough, I thought.

I was going to make the food, but he suggested that he would make it. I wouldn't let him be the one bringing everything, so I got some fresh fruit and blended it up into a smoothie.

Yup, a smoothie. I made a strawberry smoothie for our first date. Real impressive.

The date was set to be at seven-thirty, giving us almost a half hour before the sun goes down.

Before heading out to my car I began to get my nervous chills.

What if he doesn't like me like that? I thought to myself. What if we kiss and my breath is bad? Does it smell bad? Should I brush my teeth? No! I could drop tooth paste on my black shirt. Is it too dark of a color? Oh god Connor stop over thinking it!

I just needed to calm down. 'It's going to be fine' I would tell myself.

At one point I would have to believe it. Somehow I got myself to calm down.

It's just a date, nothing wrong will happen. It's just like hanging out, but a little more intimate and closer.... Wait is he a bottom or a top? Oh shit are we going to do that!?

I started my car and was off to the date. I brought my red and white checkered blanket I got for one dollar at the thrift store. It may have lice in it, but I did wash it three times and sprayed it with disinfectant spray.