Dust

Chapter 13

Faith POV: I'm in the middle of therapy, when Mark comes in, panting.

"I thought you were in the mental ward?" He asks, practically doubled over.

"We moved to here. It was easier for her." My therapist tells him. Mark doesn't really seem to care.

"We've got to go." Mark says firmly. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the chair.

"Excuse me sir, this can wait." My therapist says. I look between the two.

"What's wrong?" I ask Mark. Mark swallows hard.

"Tim's up..." he says. "He's been up, and you remember what we agreed on... I didn't want to interrupt..." I run past Mark, straight to the elevators.

"What floor?" I ask. Mark's distracted with something different, so I hit 5, the last floor I remember him being on. Mark looks up at the highlighted number.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mark shouts, hitting 14.

"They moved him?" I say, feeling my heart pounding. He nods. We hit five, and quickly smack the close door button, trying to get it to go up as fast as possible.

We finally hit Tim's floor, and begin to race to his room. Mark leads, since he's the only one of us who knows where the new one is. He, unfortunately, is running quite slow since his heart problem.

"What number?" I shout, looking at the clock by the nurses station.

"1421."

I take off, dodging nurses, patients, and monitors. I finally find his room, and run in.

His eyes are shut, and the doctors are packing up when I walk in. Mark follows close behind me.

"I'm sorry for your loss." A nurse says on her way out. The words hit me like a knife, as I hit my knees beside his bed.

"No..." I start to cry. "Oh my god... He's gone..." I look back at Mark, who's still frozen at the foot of Tim's bed. He stares at Tim. "He was alone." I cover my mouth with my hand, while the other holds tightly to Tim's.

"I..." Mark breaks down. "I'm so sorry..."

Mark can't look at the girls without thinking about him. I mean, I can't either, but he can't stop thinking about how he took their father's heart away.

I can't tell if he honestly feels better... He's been so depressed these last few months that it's impossible to tell.

I remember... I remember the day we met, what happened with my mother, everything... He was trying to hard to protect me, I don't know why I didn't listen 99% of the time...

Mark is sitting at the breakfast bar, and staring at the girls playing over in the family room. I feel a little twist in my stomach.

"Everything okay?" I ask. Mark slowly looks over at me, and then shakes his head.

"I'm fine." He sighs, "You remember when he proposed? I mean, the real story?" He asks, setting his chin down on the palm of his hand. He looks back at the girls.

"Vaguely..." I say. Although my memory has came back, it's still foggy. Tim told me some things that kind of replaced the memory itself... He was just trying to protect me.

"He had asked you on the ride in to Dallas, I believe. You guys were so excited that you guys insisted on singing together, and the whole nine yards, and it just so happened that his father was in the crowd. He saw you two together." Mark tries to describe. I realize that his eyes narrow when he recalls stories.

"Did his father come backstage?" I ask. The memory is starting to resurface.

"Yeah. He thought you were just a fling." Mark laughs, looking down at his hands. His smile starts to fade. "Tim kept insisting to him that you were the girl. Even I doubted him a bit... It just was so quick, and the circumstances were just... odd." Mark shakes his head. "But I think Tug called you either a girl with daddy issues, or a whore, and Tim just snapped. Security had to peel them off of each other. I had never seen him snap like that, ever..." Mark says, looking at me as if he were trying to convince me of something.

"I remember that..."

"I was talking to him afterwards, while he was icing his head, and he just kept saying 'Mark, she's going to be the rest of my life. She's gonna be the mother of my children, I swear...'. I think it sort of killed him that nobody believed in you two." Mark says, looking down once more. I can't help but notice a tear fall. "After they brought you in from the accident... I remember he could barely breathe. When they took you in for surgery, we went into my office and he began to just scream... And once we found out that you had no recollection, I went up to him and said 'Tim, you can go home. You can forget she ever happened. I won't judge you. If you can't take this, then you need to leave'. He just stood up and left my office. Next time I saw him, he was at your bedside, holding onto your hand..." He laughs a little before looking back at the kids.

"He was good to me..." I say softly, tracing his stare to Gracie and Maggie playing with a play-tea set.

"While he was awake, after the incident with Rob, he kept saying how he thought you were dead... I mean, he cried like a child. I've never seen him like that... And he just kept telling me how there was nothing he could do except hold you. He had no idea how much pain he was in, because he was so focused on you." Mark shuts his eyes. "He was too young, Faith... Now with the baby, and the girls... This wasn't how it was supposed to happen."

"I know it wasn't." I say, rubbing my neck. "When we were trying to get pregnant before the accident, he would always get so excited when I'd take the test. We had a few false positives and different things which kind of let 'em down, but I just can't even imagine how this is going to go." I place a hand on my stomach.

"Audrey's gonna be okay. She'll know he loves her." Mark says, grabbing onto my hand.

"How do you know it's going to be a girl?" I ask, my voice sounding raspy.

"I just know. You already have two, so it'd be tragic if it was a boy." Mark laughs. "That poor kid."

"He didn't even know."

"There was no way for him to know, Faith. Just be happy that she survived all she did..." He says, looking down at my emerging bump. He looks back up at me, maintaining eye contact for a minute too long. "Faith, can I tell you something?" He asks.

"Sure." I say, leaning in closer so the girls don't hear. They seem to be off in their own little world. Mark takes my hand.

"I think I'm in love with you, Faith..." He whispers. He smiles, before kissing me. "I've always kind of wanted to do that..." He says softly. I look quickly to the girls, to see they are completely oblivious.

"Mark... I don't think this is a—" He interrupts me with another kiss, causing me to jump. The taste gives me instant guilt. Tim only died a few months ago... I shouldn't be doing this now...

I'm laying naked beside Mark in the bed Tim and I had slept in for years, just staring at him. I want him to get up and go back to his room, but he's out cold. I wish he could understand how this doesn't mean we are a thing...

I quietly get out of bed and walk down the hall to check on the girls. They're still fast asleep. I wish I could curl up right next to them without waking them up. Tim used to do that with Gracie...

I lay down on the couch, and try to get some sleep, hoping to finally quiet my mind.