He gave me unprecedented access,
to everything.
And I mean everything.
I studied it all.
I made a studied of HIM.
It's been several months since his passing.
I'm sure the gravely maggots have had their fill.
I'm sure he is not in a better place.
I however, sought a better place.
Spent some time in a Teepee in the wilderness to reflect on all this.
A new direction for me?
Maybe not? Not this?
I asked myself what do I want.
It's not an easy answer when you have all that you want.
When you do, I know for sure, you crave time alone.
Hence the Teepee in the wilderness.
Time well spent alone.
Being in such isolation, all alone,
the mind frees, opens and explores.
I can't really be sure, but in a waking dream,
he spoke to me.
Must've been the wind, I know;
distant voices carried on the blowing snow.
I can't be sure.
Still, I can't ignore.
I returned home.
Visited his grave once more.
Late.
The grave digger absent, but Fate;
its presence points to shovel.
What are the odds, huh?
Perhaps it was God, no? Daring me to look & be sure.
2 hours of labored digging I hit the door.
With what remained of my strength, it creaked opened.
Decompositions happen quicker than you know.
How many, in only a few short months, dare to close and open that door?
The grave digger, perhaps. No?
The stench alone granted me answer.
Made me sure.
Rats, worms, maggots, all were home.
As I looked upon his remains, multitudes of beady eyes looking back at me, eyes that quickly grew unconcerned with me, it was a thing I'd only seen on TV.
He lies there, foul smelling.
bones showing.
But this was no slow decomposition.
He's being eaten.
I'm not scared of much.
But that sight was too much.
I threw up.
Took me an hour to close the coffin,
pile back on the dirt and make the burial ground appear undisturbed.
I was not afraid because of what I saw;
only because I knew what I saw AWAITS US ALL.
One day, that will be YOU, ME;
It will be US ALL.
The BOX is always hungry, it ever calls.
