Rarl one-shots.

12|Scent.

Carl can't help but pick up the shirt in his hands and bring it up to his nose.

Even though a month had passed, he still had he scent on his clothes.

Ever since he was able to walk without dizziness or bumping into the air itself, Carl had been pretending to walk, when in reality he managed to slip away in the blind sight of others and into the old Anderson house.

He never stopped to look anywhere in the house, just went upstairs and locked himself in Ron's room. He would close the curtains and collapse on the hardwood floor or in the bed, simply remembering or mourning his lost love.

In the fifteen years of his life, he had never thought that he would fall so much in love with someone, let alone a boy. His mother used to have strong opinions against gay couples, even in the apocalypse, but Carl didn't think much of it until he realized that he liked Ron. Unfortunately, he found out when he was already gone.

But if Ron hadn't died or realized his feelings before him die, he knew very well that nothing would ever happen between them or that he would never have the courage to confess his feelings to he.

Now Carl says how much he likes Ron; in the solitude of his old room, in front of his empty grave or his name engraved on the wall. But never to him, never to someone alive in front of him who answers him.

He still felt the tingle of Ron's warm hand taking his own. He still remembers that night very well and it still hurts, how even though he had refused to let go of Ron's hand, he did and things ended so badly.

Carl knows that Ron didn't have the nerve to shoot; Carl knows that Ron would have missed because he didn't have a good aim. Carl laughs remembering Ron's attempts to hit the mark... But he cries remembering it.

Carl knows that Ron never wanted to hurt him and could never be mad at him for the accident. What was that for; an accident.

He had never thought about what had happened until he started locking himself in here. Ron shot him after Michonne stabbed him and he doesn't want to blame it on her, but he's sometimes so angry or sad about what happened that he can't help but think about it. If Michonne didn't do anything, would he have been able to convince Ron to put the gun down? May be. Carl understands Ron, he lost his family in an instant in his face and his reaction was normal. Carl was no better when Lori died, he treated everyone badly, including his father and blamed him for many things. So Carl doesn't judge Ron or get mad at him; Carl wants Ron back so he can tell him.

Rummaging through Ron's room he had found a few little things like bracelets or necklaces. He definitely already has them on and likes them a lot, and not just because he belonged to the boy he loves. He also found a picture of him in that blue beanie he almost always wore and it looked so pretty that Carl choked back a sob. Ron looked so alive and joyous in this photograph, which he wasn't before he died. Carl watched it slowly go out until his flame went out for good.

Carl also thinks about what would have happened if they never made it to Alexandria. He would never have met him and maybe everyone here would have died anyway. In none of his imaginations was Ron still alive. Even if Ron would hate him for life, he didn't care if it meant he was still here...

He has seen many people die over the years and he never thought that another death would affect him as much as his mother's. Ron did. Of course he did...

Carl gets up and wipes the tears from his face before stuffing two of Ron's shirts into his backpack. He liked to sleep with them, because he hoped that the intoxicating scent of him would bring him luck and he could dream of him. He was kind of a stimulant that hadn't worked yet, but he someday he will.

Maybe in another life he could go back to be with Ron and tell him how much he had loved him...but not in this one, he never could have in this one.