The Human Hearted Imp

Chapter 26: C.H.E.R.U.B VS I.M.P

Soon, the Cherubs are able to drag Blitz and Lyle away and are rolling them somewhere.

"Uh where are we going?" Blitz asks.

"We're going to show you how we do our job. If we can show you how good we do at our job of bringing happiness around the world, maybe that can convince you," Keenie says.

"If you say so," Blitz says, feeling unsure.

Soon, the Cherubs take Blitz and Lyle to the outskirts of the hill, looking over a large forest and a lake.

Cletus happily says, "Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age... or wealth!"

"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this!" Collin adds.

Suddenly, Randall appears wearing a lizard costume, "Mhm, you're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" and does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.

Keenie covers her mouth and gasps, "That is so inappropriate!"

Collin blinks in a state of disbelief and Cletus gives a disappointed look. Then Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes.

Millie then shows Keenie two middle fingers and says, "Oh, kiss our ass, prude!"

"Uh why are you guys dressed as cats?" Blitz asks, confused.

Moxxie sighs, "It's one of Randall's crazy ideas."

"Well duh," Randall says, with a grin on his face.

He shoves Lyle aside and says, "Anyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close."

Lyle looks at the binoculars to see for himself. He sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together, and is suddenly eaten alive by a pack of wolves.

"Oh no!" Lyle says, shocked.

Collin then tries to take the binoculars, "S-stop looking!"

But Lyle continues to hold on to the binoculars, "I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"

Lyle continues to watch. A bear swipes a wolf to the ground and raises its paw to attack. Then the bear is crushed by a fallen tree, by a muscular logger with a chainsaw. Then a beehive lands on the man's head and begins to scream and panic. Soon, his arms are chopped off by the chainsaw and his body skewered by a charging stag. Everyone freezes in horror while Randall fakes it and grins smugly.

"Yeah. I guess it shows that nature has its ups and downs," Blitz says.

"Come on Blitz, is that all you gotta say?" Randall questions.

"Well, it's true," Blitz says, shrugging his shoulders.

Cletus nervously says, "Let's go check out someplace else!"

Millie and Moxxie do a fist bump in their cat costumes.

The next stop is a shopping mall. And Lyle's bed is pushed through the wall and makes a hole in the wall.

"Oh, Lord. Where are we now? Let me perish!" Lyle says, practically begging.

"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: Childhood wonderment!" Keenie says, motion towards the crowd of children.

They are happily cheering for Santa Claus who is sitting on a chair as a kid is sitting on his lap.

"Why, look at those sweet diseased-ridden vermin. Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood, and their middle-class existence. Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this," Lyle says.