Let Me Occupy Your Mind [Natsby Fanfiction]

5.

     He moved closer to me, placing his hand on my arm. Gatsby eyes said every word: "tell me what you need." A mere glance made me melt to his reassurance.

     I couldn't help myself, but I continued to weep. The feeling of watchful eyes crawled up and down my body, I despised the attention. My mind isolated with thoughts of self deprecation, questioning it all. The use of my intent, my love, my identity, my existence. It made me cave in most terribly. Just then, a familiar voice broke through my panic.

"Let's go, I'll take you anywhere."

     I followed my eyes up to his face. Sentimental hope breathed life into me. No matter how many tears, or how far apart we were, Gatsby treated me lovingly. He turned me around, and walked me to the door.

"You're not going anywhere!"

     Tom roared, stomping to Gatsby and clasping himself to him.

"I'm not done with you—!"

"Well, I am."

     Gatsby hesitated, wanting to say something to Daisy. He changed his mind and tore Tom off his back; we left the suite.

"I'm listening, old sport—Nick."

     Plucking a handkerchief from his pocket, he wiped my tears away.

"I want to go home."

"I know, I know." Gatsby reassured.

     He wrapped his arm around me, walking me to the elevator. Gatsby looked so ashamed, with eyes shrouded in sadness. He moved his arm away from me, adjusting my collar.

"I couldn't help but stare—" he paused, realizing what that might sounded like, "a-at your collar, your collar hadn't been fixed."

     We shared a quiet laughter.

"Gosh..." I continued, "I'm such a wreck, I didn't mean to make such a scene."

"...You made a scene?"

     It took me a second to realize that I probably relieved the already-made scene with my tears. I shifted my weight to one side, sliding my hand into my pocket.

"No, I guess not."

     The elevator opened, and we left the hotel; driving off in Gatsby's car, purples and pinks painted the sky. An orange sun set underneath the clouds.

Gatsby inquired, "How's about we talk about this at my house?"

"I suppose. Honestly Gatsb—"

"Jay."

"Pardon?"

"Call me Jay, old sport."

     I smiled, the vitality of his charm soothed me.

"Jay, I really should go to bed after everything that's happened. I have work tomorrow and genuinely, I don't have the energy to speak on any of this."

"I understand."

     We had arrived at the Valley of Ashes, growing dark by the seconds, Mrs.Wilson jumped into the middle of the dirt road. Waving her hands, with streaks of mascara down her face.

"Tom! Tom!"

     Jay slowed down, confused.

"Please, Tom! I—" she cried, "Tom? Where is he?"

"I'm sorry Miss. But this is my beauty, not Mr. Buchanan's!"

     He slapped the side of his car, proud of its' recognizable silhouette.

"...Its not?"

She looked at me for an answer as Jay shook his head. Just then, Mr. Wilson pulled his wife back.

"Tom? Why—Why are you talking about him?"

     Jay and I awkwardly watched them argue for a moment, before riding away into West Egg.

"What a journey we've got ourselves in ..."

"I wholeheartedly agree. Still, I get the feeling that I'm at fault. I know I shouldn't feel that way but... I can't seem to shake that feeling off."

"Nick. I'm the one at fault. I didn't even call you, or send a letter that Daisy would invite you to luncheon. I mean—How selfish was I! It's embarrassing, I should be the only ashamed one here."

"Yes. Yes, I know. Thank you."

      Him and I were quiet for the rest of the trip.

     After dropping me off, I unlocked the door to my cottage. A familiar voice broke the silence.

"Nick!"

"Huh? Oh, goodnight Jay!"

"No, not that."

      He brushed pass the bushes and over my tulip garden. His eyes were the only recognizable aspect of his face in the dark. Jay held on to the sides of my arms, I had been mere inches away from him. Was this the moment, he would confess his true feelings to me? I just wanted him to say something, anything.

"Let's have tea on the porch tomorrow."

"Jay, I can't, I have work—You know that."

"At noon. I want you to open your heart to me."

"I-I..." I was speechless. He pulled the words right out of my mouth, but all I could manage to say was, "Okay."

"Sleep well, Nick."

"Goodnight, Jay."