To Infinity and Beyond~ {A Liam Payne FanFic} COMPLETED

Chapter Twentythree~

"Sammy...Saaaaaammmyyyy. SAM!" I jolted awake to Louis shaking me and yelling. "Ugh." I grunted and rolled over. "Sammy. Come oooon. Wake up. It is 10 o clock! You have plans with Jake today remember? You have 1 hour to get ready!!" Oooooh shoot. "Dang it!" I said as I shot out of bed and ran to the shower. 30 minutes later I was clean and smelled like berries. I quickly threw on some clothes and dashed out the door yelling "Thanks Lou! Good morning and goodbye!" He called back, "Yup. Byyyye Sammy. Tell him!!" Then the door shut.

Once I got to the lobby I was all hyper and nervous again. I walked outside and saw Jake standing there by a ready taxi. "Hi Sammy!" He said with a smile. "You look amazing." I blushed. "Thank you:) So where are we going?" "Park!" "Good! I, uh, have to talk to you so the park is good!" "Great!" We got into the taxi and it took off towards the park. Once we got there, Jake pulled out a picnic basket that I didn't see before. We walked till we were sitting under the shade of a huge oak tree, and he set up the picnic. "So. What do you want to tell me?" He asked once we sat down.

“So. What did you want to tell me?”- Suddenly my mind went blank. “Uh. Sammy?” Jake's voice had snapped me back to reality. “Uh yeah. I have something important to talk to you about.” “Alright. Spill.” he said as he flashed me a white smile. If I had been standing my knees would have buckled underneath me and I would have collapsed. I still loved him. And Toby. And Liam...I guess. How can one person love so many people at once? How are they supposed to survive? “OK. I know we talked about it before you left. I was never fond of the idea....” “About..finding new people?” He said gloomily. “Yeah.” I replied, just as gloomily. “I kinda found someone...We dated a couple weeks..” “You split but you still like him.” Jake finished for me. “Not exactly. But. I never wanted to hurt you...I just thought you might have found someone too. So I didn't feel as guilty. But how can one person love so many people?! It's not fair to any of you!” I half shouted, saying my earlier thoughts. “Listen.” Jake started, “It is OK. I feel the same. I love you too. But I think our love is different. It's not really soul-mate love. It's kind of like the-best-friends-in-the-history-of-friends, friends-paired-by-the-gods type of love. We can love each other and not be together-together.” “Aw Jakey. This is why I love you.” I smiled as the tears trickled down my cheeks and I gave him a hug. “So. Tell me what happened. Who is he? What did he do to you?” I sighed heavily as he began pulling food out of the basket. “Well. I think there is something else you should know...” “What is it?” “Please don't think badly of me...” I said, my bottom lip quivering. “I won't. I promise love. Please just tell me.” He said as he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “OK. It all started when Toby died. I fell into a deep, spiraling depression. I did things...coped in the worst ways possible. For about 2 months I was basically an alcoholic and a druggie. But then one day I came to a realization. Toby would be SO ashamed of me. That wasn't how he wanted me to be. {The alcoholic problem is why she initially didn't drink at the bar:) } So I quit cold turkey. All my addictions...but one. This one followed me everywhere. I only quit once I moved here.” I gulped and wiped the tears from my face and looked as tears threatened to spill out of Jake's eyes also. “I...I-.” I couldn't say it. Instead I rolled up my sleeves. As far as they would go, revealing months and months worth of shiny, pink, and some raised, scars. All over the inside of my arms, some on the outside. “There's.- m-more on..on m-my legs.” I cried, trying to rid my face of tears by wiping it with my hand. I looked across from me at Jake's face. His face was covered in tears also. It felt like an enormous weight was lifted..especially since I only ever told people that I had cut. “Why didn't you tell me..before?” Jake asked, his voice shaky. “I was afraid.” I choked out. He pulled me into him and he kissed my scars all the way up and down both my arms as I attempted to calm myself. “I understand.” He whispered. I looked at him, confused. He pulled away and shrugged off his jacket and took off his shirt. I gasped. His perfect torso had scars up and down it, along with ones going up and down his arms, just like me. I started crying again as I pulled him back closer to me. I lifted up one of his hands and stared at his wrist, turning it back and forth in the sunlight, I then slowly brought it to my lips and kissed the scarred and sensitive skin. Afterwords, I intertwined his fingers in mine and we laid back,staring at the clouds. It wasn't 3 minutes later that he spoke up again. “So, you never finished. What happened? Who? What did he do?” We sat up and I stared at him, momentarily getting distracted my his nice arms and torso. I just wished that his 6-pack and perfect skin hadn't been covered in all those scars, just as I assumed everyone thought about me. Again the words 'perfect' and 'used-to-be-mine' flashed in my head and a lump in my throat choked me up. It wasn't just his body that stunned me and distracted me. It was the fact that I had let him go so easily that haunted my mind. “Hold on.” He chuckled as he pulled his white shirt over his head and pulled it down. I blushed madly I assumed since he chuckled more. “I thought for a minute you were a vampire.” I chuckled at my own horrible joke. “Course I look like one at times. We laughed together. “Now your stalling. Spiiill.” “OK OK. Well. It was about 3 days after you had left I had dinner with Harry. You remember him?” “Oh yeah! Nice guy...” “Ya. Well apparently he thought it was a date. And he kissed my when he dropped me off. Of course I didn't-and don't- feel the same. I told him 'Not now.' and I got out of the car and inside. Of course me being the emotional wreck I am I cried on the couch and blah blah. So a couple days later I go out with Liam because I kind of liked him and Harry wouldn't leave me alone. The boy just couldn't take a hint. So we started dating.” I noticed Jake's eyes sparkling, enjoying the story, as I took a pause. “So he and the rest of the boys except Harry know about my cutting. And things were going great for about two weeks until Zayn had this idea to go to a club. Now I went along with it not wanting to be the odd one out because I used to have a drinking problem. So I went. And after a while of dancing sort-of, I went to find everybody because they had all split up. So I go looking for Liam and I find him. With. With his ex-. Ex-girlfriend o-on his lap snogging him! A-and. He w-was drunk and he-he said they were getting back together and that-that that she was going to stay the night then they began- began snogging again! I ran away and bought a bottle of alcohol and ran outside crying. I drank it all then smashed the bottle. And I-I cut all over. My arms my legs. I carved words! Useless. Alone. Then I wandered to Louis flat and he took care of me then brought me here because I really need you.” Once I had finished I realized my eyes were squeezed shut and that Jake was rocking me back and forth. I could feel his tears falling on my arms as mine trickled down my face, onto my neck, and down my shirt. After a few minutes Jake had calmed down whereas I stayed the same. Now he was shushing me. He was telling my it was alright. After a few more minutes I calmed down and was just sitting in Jake's arms. “Thank you Jake. You are everything I wanted.” “What do you mean?” “You. You are just so perfect. You held me when I cried. You cried with me. You understand what I went and am going through. You kissed my scars, held me, and told me everything would be alright, even though we both know it's not really true.” “But it is true.” “No. Liam is trying to win me back. But I can't forgive him. I don't care if he was drunk. What he did broke me. Beyond his repair. You fixed me. You realize this is the second time you have fixed me after going through something very hard and hurtful?” “Yeah I do. You are going to have to forgive him sooner or later Sam. You do not have to go back to him if you don't want to, but in time you have to forgive him. Whether it is tomorrow or in 10 years.” 10 years...that is a long time. I sighed a heavy sigh once more and pulled myself away so I could look into Jake's face. “Thank you so much Jake. I love you.” “Love you to Sammy.” He said as I snuggled back into him again. We laid down again and ended up falling asleep under the warm sun, only to be awakened by the sound of Louis voice and the feel of his toes in my ribs. “Wake up you two. It's about 4 o'clock! Come on. WAKE UP!” I jolted up and about dragged Jake with me since we were 'tied up' together. About 2 seconds later Jake jolted up too, both of us rubbing our dry, puffy eyes. “Afternoon.” Louis said cheekily as he sat down cross-legged on the blanket. “Afternoon.” Jake and I mumbled in unison. I quickly yanked my sleeves down, all the sudden embarrassed because Lou was here, which didn't make any sense at all because he had cleaned up all of my cuts when I wandered to his place that night. Jake grasped my left wrist gently, looking into my eyes as if silently telling me it was OK, and that I shouldn't be embarrassed. I smiled back and held his hand. After that the three of us hung out for a bit until it started getting dark. Then Louis and I went back to the hotel after making breakfast plans with Jake tomorrow. Once we had gotten inside the suite I plopped onto the bed and answered Louis question before he even had the chance to ask it. “Yes I told him Lou.” “Aw. Good girl. I'm proud of you.” He said trying to sound silly. He walked up to the bed and pulled my shoes off and covered me up, switching off the bedside light as he walked away. “Goodnight Sam.” “Gnight Lou.” I mumbled before I fell into a deep sleep and a magnificent dream.