To Infinity and Beyond~ {A Liam Payne FanFic} COMPLETED

Chapter Four~

I pulled into the driveway around 10-10:30. I turned off the engine, pulled out my keys, and just sat there thinking for a minute. Then I grabbed my bag, and headed for the door. "Mooom! Dad?" I said throughout the house as I walked in. "In here sweetie!" My mom called from her bedroom. I dropped my bag on the floor and hopped up the stairs to her room. "Your dad went out to get stuff for dinner. You said the boys would be coming by?" She asked, very excitedly. "Uhm, ya I think so. What are we having for dinner?" "Pot roast! Oh honey. I think you made the right choice. I know were not rich, but were not poor, we have enough money to buy plane tickets every once and a while to visit." "I know mom. I'm gonna miss you." 

I finished talking to my mom then went down to the kitchen to grab a snack, I was starving. Upon deciding I did not want to cook for an hour, I grabbed an apple and headed upstairs, picking up my bag along the way. I got to my room, took out my phone, and plopped on my bed. "Hey! My mom is going to be cooking dinner, so you guys can get here anywhere from 5-7 :)" I texted Liam as I bit into my apple. I finished the apple as I waited for a reply. "Great! See you then!" It felt weird, me going to live in London with One Direction. Hopefully there I would be able to do more, fulfill at least one thing Toby and I had talked about. I was thinking I might actually be happy again. After Toby left, I fell deep into a depression. It was a deep hole that I couldn't climb out of, even if I tried. I self-harmed. Cut, scratched. Anything that would bring feeling to the numbness that surrounded me. It felt...good. I loved it. I decided I needed to stop. It made me feel better, but not permanently. I have gone a week before, but never longer. The last time I harmed was 2 or three days ago. I hadn't done it since I met the boys, course, I didn't really have a travel kit of my tools either. 

Every time I think about hurting myself, I run my fingers over the scars, to try and tell myself that the more scars, the less chance I have of making friends and falling in love. It never works. Also, I was never hungry. I went days and days without eating. I just wasn't hungry. I was so empty, but nothing could fill my hole but Toby, and he was gone. As I let out a heavy sigh I heard my father come through the door and carry the bags into the kitchen. I shoved my phone into my back pocket as I bounded out my door and down the stairs to the kitchen. "Daddy!" I shouted as I hugged my dad. "Hey honey! I can't believe your leaving me pal! After all we've been through!" "I know dad...But that's why I have to leave. Because of all I've been through." He kissed me on my forehead, "I know honey. I miss him to." We pulled apart and I rummaged through the bags till I found what I was looking for. Sour patch kids! I grabbed the box and left the kitchen back to my room, kissing my dad on the way. SPK were my favorite candy, every time my dad went to the store he would buy me a box. 

Before I knew it I could smell the pot roast and it was around 5. "Be there around 530:)" A text from Louis read. "Swwweeeeet!" I got up and then realized I had been wearing the same clothes for a couple days. So I went and took a quick 15 minute shower, threw my hair in a quick bun, and got dressed. I wore my favorite charcoal grey sweatpants, feather patterned long sleeve, and my 'Come to the Dark side we have cookies' shirt over that. It was kind of cold. As I was walking down stairs to help set the table the door bell rang. "I'll get it!" I shouted as I checked my phone, exactly 5:30. I opened the door to reveal One Direction. "Hi guys!" I said as I shooed them back outside, stepping out also while shutting the door. "What's up?" Niall asked. "I just had to warn you guys." "About what?" "My mom. Now I don't know how often you guys see this, but my mom is probably a bigger directioner than I am. Just a fair warning. I told her to behave, but I can't make any promises." "Haha!" All the boys laugh. "That's awesome!" Zayn said. "Just tell me this. Does she have any posters in her room?" Liam asked. "Well. She has a group shot on her wall and her lock screen and home screen might be of you guys..." They all laughed again. 

"Well, now that that is over, come on in guys!" I said as I opened the door and led them all in. Whoever was last shut the door behind them, thankfully. "ERMAHGOD!" My mom shouted from her room. "I'm not ready yeeet.!!!" I glanced at the boys who all had huge grins on their faces. "Hi dad! This is Liam, Niall, Harry, Zayn and Louis!" I said as I introduced the boys. "and boys, this is my dad!" "Nice to meet you all!" My dad said. "Nice to meet you too sir!" "Well, I'm going to go pull the roast out and set it up." "Kay dad." "Sooo...." I said clapping my hands together. "So." "Um. Well, I just cleaned my room, lucky for you, wanna see if we can all fit?" I said laughing. So we headed up towards my room. "Here it is! Home not-so-sweet home! haha! This, is where my clothes are kept, this, is where I sleep, and this, is where I draw." I dramatically gestured to everything. "Nice." "OH! Can I draw?" Zayn asked. "Uh. Sure!" He sat down and grabbed a pencil and started sketching. "AW Dang it!" "What?" "Lead broke. Oh! Here is a sharpener." He said as he picked up the sharpener. Oh no.

He struggled trying to sharpen the pencil to no avail. He then checked it out, like all guys, attempting to fix the problem. "Hey, where's the blade to your pencil sharpener?" He asked. Um. In my bedside table where I keep it for late-night cuts. But I wasn't going to say that aloud. I nervously started rubbing my wrists, it's what I started doing after Toby. They were all staring at me now. At my wrists. No they weren't. I'm just self-conscious. "huh? What? Oh..Uhm. I don't know...It was in there last time I used it." I said shrugging. Which was the truth. Last I used it it was in there, right after though I pulled it out. I just made sure not to break my pencils. Also, I had a back up sharpener. Actually bought for a back-up blade, until I discovered it was made different and the blade wouldn't come out. "But um. I have this other one, uh-right here.." I said as I fumbled through a drawer and grabbed it. "Here you go." I said as I handed it to Zayn. He turned around and began again. "You OK. Sammy? Your sweating bullets." Harry said. "What? Uh.Ya I'm fine. Just a little hot in here." "Why don't you take off the long-sleeve then?" "I'm fine now." I said as I looked out my door. "Looks like dinner is ready." I said as I walked away and to the table, the boys following closely behind.