You're Early [ManxBoy]

Chapter 7: So Tight

Dean

"Dude, it's far from being your fault."

"No Charles, you don't get it." I stood. "I know how Chris is, I know how he works. Sure it's his fault for suggesting the threesome, but it's my fault for not seeing it as it was."

"I'm still not following..."

I rolled my eyes in aggravation. At this point, I felt like pulling my hair out of my scalp. "Chris didn't ask for a threesome because he felt like I wasn't good enough for him, he asked because it's college. In college, we all do things like party, have threesomes, and just live. He's just trying to live the college life, and I should've knew that from his sudden outburst. Or maybe there's something else."

"So Chris only wanted a threesome, because he felt like he was obligated to have one since he's in college?" Charles clarified. When he said it like that, it made Chris sound like that bad guy. And in a way he truly was, but if you knew Chris like I did, you'd know that there was a reason behind it.

"I guess." I rubbed my hands over my face in exhaustion.

".... And how's that your fault and not his?"

"Because, I wanted the same things when I was in his place. I wanted to slack off, have sex with a lot of people and go to a bunch of parties. And I didn't do those things to disappoint anyone, I did it because I was trying to fit in. When you're in college, the last thing you want to do is stick out. And Chris, although he may be a very blunt and honest person, he doesn't really talk about his feelings, unless they're really deep. And it's my fault because I've been through what he's going through, we both have." I looked at him, only to see his eyes downcasting. That look of guilt and a bit of pain was so familiar. I remember it all. The real reason why I got so mad about the threesome. In fact, I didn't care about that. It was much deeper. "And I should've told him that I understood."

"And I should've told him...." My knuckles were turning white from how hard I was clenching my fists.

"..... Told him?" He moved closer to me. I was tempted to push him away, but I needed to feel someone next to me. It kept the feeling of loneliness away for awhile.

"Told him about what happened to me in college. I should've told him about what happened to me when I tried to live the college life by force and not just let it happen on it's own." He did ask me what it was I was thinking, but I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell how big a mistake I made in college.

But I should have. And I will.

'Where are you going?" Charles asked a bit startled.

"To talk to Chris."

----

"He's not here." She glared up at me with her aqua blue eyes. Her arms were tightly folded over her chest as she tried to stand her ground.

"I can see him." I could. The door was cracked enough for me to see Chris lying down on his bed with a pack of family size Oreos and a gallon of milk.

"No, you can't." She tried side step me and close the door, but I wasn't letting that happen.

"Sorry about this." I easily lifted her up by her upper arms and moved her away from the door. I was quick enough to get in close the door behind me, locking it so she couldn't get in. All she did was curse me and bang on the door. She something about me getting her "so tight" whatever that means.

Chris still hadn't noticed me. He was too busy eating his misery away. I took slow cautious steps towards him. I've never seen Chris like this, well not since that time in high school when he thought that I had a boyfriend and was just leading him on.

I pulled out one of his ear plugs, startling him a bit. When his eyes found mine, he slowly lowered his back down. Just a small gesture had me hurting all over.

"Chris, I'm sorry." He ignored me. He didn't even look up at me. I took a seat on his bed and scooted a bit closer to him. "Baby, I'm really sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You're not the one trying to sleep with other guys." He said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I know." I wiped my clammy hands on the legs of my pants. "But I'm apologizing because, I overreacted. It wasn't necessary.

"No, it wasn't."

"I get it, you're mad at me for not seeing what your true motives were, but Chris, how'd you feel if I asked you if we could have a threesome with another guy?"

He sat back and thought about it for a second. "Depends on how he looks."

"Chris."

"Ok," He smiled a bit. "I'd be hurt, and jealous, and mad."

"Exactly, but baby, I'm sorry for making it seem as if you made me feel like I was nothing. It's not true, baby. You make me feel whole, feel complete, and I wouldn't feel that way if it wasn't for you reminding me that every day."

He blushed a bit with a brighter smile. And then it slowly crumbled into a grimace.

"What Chris? What is it?" I moved closer to him. For a second he looked panicked, scared even. I didn't like it not one bit.

"Tell me baby." I pecked his lips a couple of times to which he calmed down instantly.

"When I came to talk to you, at your house, it wasn't for that reason."

"What wasn't?"

"The threesome. That's not what I'd truly came there for. Sure, I came to tell you what I had did in his presence and my reason behind it, but it was because of something else. I didn't even want to have a threesome with him, although..."

"Chris" I warned him. He playfully pecked my cheeks.

"It was because I felt something. After I'd done what I'd done, I felt completely bad. I knew that that wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want another guy, I wanted you. I realized that I didn't want no one beside me if it wasn't you. And when I finally saw you sitting on your bed reading a book, it all made sense to me, and I panicked at the last minute. I was scared, still am a bit, and just made up a lie so I could have enough time to think about it."

I knew he had a different motive. But what? What could possibly have Chris all, shy?

"You can tell me baby. I promise."

He fiddled his thumbs together and nervously bit into his bottom lip. I didn't rush him at all. The only thing I did was continue to comfort him by rubbing soothing circles on his thigh.

Any other time, he'd be a moaning mess.

"Dean." His eyes finally connected with mine since I came into his room. And what I saw only broke my heart even more. His baby blue eyes were shining with unshed tears. Whatever it was, whatever he was feeling, it was tearing him apart.

"Tell me." I begged softly. Chris took a few deep breaths and sat up straight until his face was only a few inches away from my own. And then he said it.

"Dean, I love you."