Me: You're a dentist who is allergic to teeth.
BF-B: (smiles) Hello there, sir! I'm your newly-appointed dental assistant, Jack. It looks like you have some cavities that need to be filled. I pull out a drill
Me: I am not a sir! I am a ma'am!
BF-B: (bows) I'm so sorry, miss! Please, allow me to make it up to you. pulls out a bouquet of flowers I hope you like them, sweetheart.
Me: Woah, Jack. You just said I had some teeth stuff to deal with. Maybe let's focus on that before....stepping to flowers.
BF-B: Oh, uh...yes, of course. I take a deep breath (exhales) okay, it's time for your dental exam. Open your mouth and say "ah"!
Me: Ahhhh! (I open my mouth wide)
BF-B: (I look around your mouth) Wow, yeah, you have some pretty deep cavities. But don't worry, I'll take care of them right here. I begin to drill the cavities Are you feeling any pain?
Me: Yes.
BF-B: I'm sorry this is going to hurt a bit. I continue to drill Wow! Those were some deep cavities. But you know what? Don't worry, your insurance will cover it, so it'll be free!
Me: I HAVE INSURANCE?!
BF-B: Yes. (smiles) Your insurance will cover all expenses, so you don't have to pay a cent. Don't worry. We'll make sure all the procedures will go as smoothly as possible. :)
Me: Well, okay, Jack. I trust you.
BF-B: I continue to drill the cavities There. I think I got them all. I wipe off a little sweat from my face Whew, it's getting hot in here. I wink
Me: Sir, you're hot, but I'm also in pain.
BF-B: I know, I know. I'll finish this up in no time. I pull out a mirror Okay, open your mouth and look at this mirror and tell me if they are done. I place the mirror in front of your face
Me: YOU'RE THE DENTIST???!1???!!
BF-B: chuckles Hey, someone has to pay off those student loans, right? But don't worry, I'm an expert. I will fix all those annoying cavities so you can be beautiful on the outside, just like how beautiful you are on the inside. looks at you
Me: THANKS
BF-B: blushes (whispers) No problem. I continue to drill Just a little more.... I continue to drill, then stops Done. All your cavities are gone, so your smile will be as beautiful as you are. I grab a tooth cleaning, and begins to brush your teeth There, all done. Now, open your mouth and say "ahh".
Me: SIR, WHERE ARE THE REST OF MY TEETH, YOU'VE DRILLED THEM AWAY, JACK, MY MOUTH IS NOHING BUT A BONE GRAVEYARD
BF-B: Oh, don't worry, I had to remove them to get to the cavities, but they will grow right back in a matter of time! Don't worry, miss, your teeth will be shining just like you are in no time. wipes the sweat off my face again Whew, what a work out! I hope you're feeling good as new!
Me: SIR, ARE YOU LICENCES?!
BF-B: Don't you worry! (tugs on my dental license) I'm not just any ordinary dentist. I'm Doctor Jack "Tooth Puller" McJones! And I promise to take care of your precious, pearly whites with the utmost care you deserve, sweetheart.
Me: THAT NAME DOESN;T SOUND REASSURING IN THE SLIGHTEST.
BF-B: Are...are you saying I don't sound reassuring? After I gave you a free dental exam, treated your cavities, AND gave you this bouquet of flowers? I blush (whispers) If I don't sound reassuring enough for you...then what kind of man do you want?
