|The secrets we take to grave|✔︎

10|What are we to each other|

Song for the chapter- If the world was ending by JP Saxe and Julia Michaels

Sia

I don’t realize the hour of the clock, but by the time I crawl out of my bed I am bawling. A sudden ache burst through my chest and sprawled all over me causing it hard to breath. By the time the sleepish haze uncovers my eyes, I find myself facing the bathroom mirror, my head dipping between my shoulders. The reflection facing me in the mirror throws me aback.

“No” I cry out, finding myself pushed to the wall, plopped on the floor.

“Wipe it off” I dictate. The blood smeared in the glass of the mirror has merely been in blotches before. I scream. I see the bloody ink taking the shape of alphabets.

I-W-A-S-K-I-L-L-E-D-

My eyes attempt to squeeze shut, as I lie down there, shuddering. I smell blood here. I taste blood.

I taste fear. I taste death.

“WIPE IT OFF- '' Whimpers and shudders are all I am reduced to. My head falls back on the floor as I see the lettered droplets trickle down. I see the thick coat of fog blur out my face i the glass.

“Oh my God Sia”

I hear a feminine voice burging in the door. And a voice heavier and more composed hushing words to her. The steady thuds in my ear block my hearings. I gasp for breath.

“Sia, you are okay.Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath” 

A hand firm and masculine built, rocks me in his arms and the other hand pats on my back. My breaths get steadier and slower. My eyesight and my hearing seem to reboot as I quickly gather the hushed exchanges of Sandhya and Krish Jiju. I recheck the mirror. Except for the blotches from my foggy ragged breaths, it looks just like another glass mirror.

Death does that to you.

“Sia” My sister takes my hand. “You aren’t okay” The pain in her voice are mirrored in the eyes of her husband.

“I was having a panic attack”

Jiju nods. “When was the last time you had a panic attack”
“Three months ago maybe. I forgot”

“Maybe we can use a little chat tomorrow”

I throw my head back. “I am fine, trust me. Just..”  I tell him. “Just get me out of here now”

“Yes yes. We would” Sandhya di supports my arm and Jiju on the other side ensures my balance as I get back on my feet. I am perfectly capable of walking back to bed but I don’t mind a little support. Sandhya helps me sit on the bed and fetches the sheets for me.

“I get it Sia, the death, the investigation and all are getting a bit tough on you but I didn’t think this is going to affect you in this way..”

She repents her words as her husband holds her stare with silent reprimand. “I mean I didn’t think you two were that close anymore.”

“Its true that we were barely on talking terms but that didn’t nullify the bond we shared, we had always been friends and no matter how twisted that sounds but it is true.” I gasp. “Deep down I knew that the case would be closed as suicide but I still know that there are miles that are uncovered”

“And..” Jiju says. “You think you can do something about that”

I press the center of my head with my index finger. “Maybe we can use a nice little chat tomorrow”

Di opens her mouth to revert but something changes her mind and she clamps her mouth shut. The best she does is mouth a forceful okay.

“I hope your little girl is still sleeping”

“Ah don’t worry. She woke up crying but I put her back to sleep” Jiju whispers, taking a step back out of my room. “Good night Sia”

“Night”

I said delving inside the sheet. My eyes forced shut. What the heck did I just see in the mirror?

______

I tripped a little on the threshold of the station given that I had almost been running.
“Miss Tripathi” Inspector Arvind walks up to the front door with a file in his hand. He hands over the file now shut to the head constable standing by his right.

“You cannot just shut a case like this”

He sighs. “Madam we have had our fair share of evidence, the autopsy report, the forensic examination of the gun all of this rules out any kind of foul play whatsoever that may be involved.”

“Fine that you are advancing on the ground of suicide but..” I get interrupted in the mid track by the wave of his hand.

“He had been depressed since months”

“But have you talked to his shrink?In case..” The words seemed to form a clutter in my throat as I proceeded to speak. “He has been exhibiting suicidal behaviour”

I see his brows crinkle as though it has been infuriating on my part to just spill the truth. “Madam I expected better from someone who tends to call themselves an advocate. You do know about the confidentiality terms..”

“He had been seeing my brother-in-law as his counseling psychologist. He mentions that Anubhav barely mentioned dying” I look at his face and wonder if I am not supposed to say this.

“And then he saw signs that made him see a psychiatrist, didn’t he?” The Inspector's words nudged me. “Because he is merely a counseling psychologist and it is not on him to diagnose”.

I search for words to revert but decide against it so I clamp my mouth shut tight.

“He did recognise signs which needed more elaborate pathological help” He says, stomping ahead and approaching me. My reflexes guide me to take two steps back. The head constable who has been a silent listener to this not so worthwhile exchange of words is no longer in sight.

“I know Miss Tripathi what you two were to each other.”

I almost catch my breath in my throat but I barely show that to him. “But you should know that sometimes our emotions disrupt us from seeing clean.”.

“I hope you understand that” He dismisses me off with a wink. I seem to be fuddled and stand there for some unprecedented lapse of time, seeing nothing in particular.

Umm so the case is closed.

What do you think about Sia's intuitions?

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Lots of love.