|The secrets we take to grave|✔︎

17(Anubhav's words (2)

Song for the chapter: Mera Pehla Pehla Pyar by KK.

Sia

Death.

I am scared of the number of times he talks about death here.

Maybe it really is one poetic extension of his suicide note. And maybe I too will die for a thousand times over getting through his detailed explanation of the turmoil suffered.

But then I would at least have the closure that his death was indeed a suicide.

I continue reading

Chapter one

The first ever time I saw her was a memory nothing or no being can ever snatch away from me. In these uneventful two and a half decade of my existence, if I am asked to filter out the most eventful memory till date, it would not be the acclaims or the sales report of my books or even Times of India’s remark of ‘A star is born’ which with due respect are some of the fond memories but the fondness of all was when I had seen her for the first time.

Unguarded by her present self consciousness, Sia Tripathi of VIII standard had been as innocent as the moonlight yet as radiant as the sunshine. She was the one who fetched a smile on everybody’s face without even trying. Although she still continues makes me smile the same way.

Well, no matter how much I try to romanticize or dramatize the first ever encounter of ours, it would still be unchanged. So precisely, the first time I saw her was the recess time when I and my friend Yash had been wandering like some aimless passerby when we happened to pass by VIII B. Trust me when I say this but Yash and I were least interested in even giving a second glance to any junior girl. There was a classmate who I dated back then or to say I made out at breaks in the backyard after the school was over.

She didn’t fascinate me too much nor was she serious about me. I didn’t think much about romantic encounters in life as well. I read romance, I watched romance, I created fictional romantic scenarios inside my head but as soon I saw my parents I wondered if this was what companionship looked like in reality.

Well, that was before I saw her.

The girl sending death glares to a classmate.

“And so?Her rejection reminded you of how fragile you are, my sweet child?”  She taunted the boy.

“Poor guy” Yash whispered to me.

“But I really love her,” He retaliated.

“Then how is it mandatory on her part to love you back?” She snarled. “Does she owe it to you by some legal contract?”

“Good point” I told Yash.

The guy hung his head low.

“Answer me”

He shook his head.

“Riya come here” She ordered a girl who robotically obeys her.

“If you love her, learn to respect her response no matter how difficult it is to accept the same” She said, her gaze automatically going sideways and landing on us.

“We are gone” Yash bit his lips.

“Say sorry to her” She narrowed her eyes on me. My attention was no longer fixated on her voice and her due application of logic and sarcasm at right places. I didnt shy away from staring back. Her hair then short and naturally chestnut, her eyes upturned without any touch of kohl and her dense thick lashes accentuating them. Her bronze tone turning crimson in some fury added some uncountable number of feathers to the golden hat of her cuteness.

“Was it fun?” She asked with a plastic smile. All the eyes turned in this direction.

“No. But it was informative” I replied. My words might have startled Yash to death.

“Now the show is over” She marched to the class door.

“Noted Madam” I said.

All she did was just smile a little. For a fleeting second because she wouldn't let me know that my words actually made her smile. She flicked off the tangled locks of her hair and left.

Like she always does.

The door too had been shut.

I wanted a lot of things back then but not the thing to end.But it was barely two weeks before the tragedy struck the house.

Not that I stopped thinking about her at all. Back when I was happy I had known from a friend her name and how she lost her parents last year.

This made me think more of her even when Maa passed away. How must she have handled such a big loss? Maa’s departure had drilled a gaping hole in my heart. Did she feel the same too?

If we meet again and talk about our losses will she be able to relate?

Are we going to be compatible even?

The thoughts didnt go away. They stayed long long after I went off to Port Blair. Long after I added my mother’s last name to mine. I thought of running into her someday. In Ranghat. On the Bay beach. In the school when I shall be back to collect my 10th marksheet. At Abdul Chacha’s stall.

Or even in Port Blair. At a cafeteria. Or the mall or the beach.

Or maybe even in the Gateway of India in Mumbai.

She stayed with me as I transitioned from business to writing. Her thoughts, my imagination took the shape of a fictional piece that felt more like an alternate reality of Sia and Anubhav.

Just when I had started dating considering that she is merely a figment of my imagination.

She came back. Making me realize that she has always been the face of my romantic fantasies.

But isn't it ethically wrong to fantasize about someone’s girlfriend and that too your brother’s?

What do you think about Anubhav and Sia?

Anyone shipping them?

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Lots of love.