The Ones Who Stayed

Chapter 3

               Everything was over in a flash of a second. It was all blank to me. I woke up at a hospital, next day. I could see faces surrounded me. My mom was crying her eyes out. Dad was pale. Yet my eyes were searching for butters. The last thing I could remember was a scream. I couldn't remember anything from last night not even a single detail. But I was sure I heard a noise it was butters screaming. I had a head injury, which made me forget memory from few days, I didn't even remember having the accident. Drake didn't survive, apparently we had an accident and I was the lucky one to survive. Butters was no more. I just couldn't accept it. It all felt like a bad holiday prank to me. I didn't know how to react or anything.

Two days later, I attended his funeral and that's when I could feel the reality.

He is no more, he isn't coming back. I could see his mom in utter silence her eyes were red and scary. My hands were shivering and that's the first time in life I ever felt like a disabled person.

I couldn't cry.

I had never been this sad before, I wanted butters to know that he meant everything to me, I wanted to cry for him.

I had Never felt this weak ever. I was devastated. According to the report his head was smashed and I was conscious that time, when they found me, there I kept murmuring, "I killed him". I couldn't remember a single thing from that night. My other friends, actually everyone thought I killed him, cause in spite of being his best friend I didn't cry at his funeral and I did say I killed him with my own mouth.

Things weren't the same after this I had literally no one. Everyone thought I was weird and that is when I started having post trauma effects. I was having episodes, like butters crying for help and someone was pushing him aside the cliff. And could never see that face. Was it me. Can I even do something like this. It was the worst days of my life. I only saw max once after that incident. Not even at the funeral. It was while leaving the town.

Yes I was leaving the place and all I could say to her was.

"I didn't kill him. I would never do such thing. I really didn't kill him."

She just smiled "I know".

And that was my last memory from the town. I was put in an asylum; we called it med school for my treatment of post trauma and mental health. I spent nearly my entire high school in there for years. It wasn't entirely bad, I liked the people there, I even made new friends there.

That's where I met Chloe. She was one of the attending students over there, She literally had the best pickup lines ever. I swear she would be the best wing girl if we were in high school. Well I wasn't lucky enough. her conditions got worse. She had brain tumour. Which made her think I was her imagination....? That a perfect friend like me would never exist, such good thing could never happen to her. She would never let anyone talk to me. And I saw her dying little by little in front of my eyes.

We knew her last days and we made sure she was smiling all along. I just wished she had seen me crying it was her last wish. And I could never give her that. I got pretty good at studies as I had nothing else to do In that asylum. Plus Chloe was like some math genie, she used to teach the same thing again and again, joking that one day I'll have episodes of her, torturing me to learn math. After having such an imbalance, I was finally approved to live normal life. I was supposed to join college.

It was a new beginning after all. I stayed few days with my parents before the college. This where my normal life began, I kept telling to myself. I never attended high school and I had no sense of socializing.

"College is more mature", mom said. I wish that is true.

Finally the day came, me moving all alone to college with complete strangers to make friends. I was told I was gonna have three roommates as a sharing room mentioned. And I was pretty psyched. I'll be seeing their faces daily for the next four years.

yaaaaaaay.

I moved in a day before just to make sure the room it isn't too claustrophobic or too dark to make me have an another episode, to get myself comfortable basically. Next day three complete strangers were in my bed. So called roommates. Alan was the tallest, and the most silent one of them all. No one really does know why he is that silent or weird. After two weeks staying with him. I had never seen him studying, doing home work or even playing basketball. Which He claims he is a national player of, that's how he got in he says. Brandon on the other hand was the irritating one, I'm already pretty sure he is gonna get his face punched by me someday. He just Keeps talking the whole time. Like He never stops, it's like being with a walking radio around him every time. And Kate finally, the more regular one. Well actually, there is nothing special about him. He just imagines himself as this coolest guy around. And Trust me on this he is not.

And to add to all this mess, my mom had personally talked with them regarding my health conditions blah blah. So yeah they already think I'm sick. No wonder why Brandon always asks me if I'm okay, that's super weird. This was definitely not how I expected college to be.

I knew no one else besides my roommates.

I was trying hard to survive.

Subjects were tough.

We had a hell lotta home works daily.

It was pretty shitty overall.

And just like that two weeks passed. Everything was new and happening so fast, I had no time to settle or to sleep properly, I was barely getting any sleep. And after 6 straight months I had my first episode. It was bad. Alan and Kate were both freaked out, they thought I was possessed or something. I kept shouting red sweater for no reason they said. And the thing is whenever I had an episode I forget everything before and after of that. It would have been cause of new place less sleep, nothing big actually. Well Apparently Brandon was the brave one who managed to calm me down and wake me up.

Long story short. Alan and Kate didn't want me in their room anymore. They were kind enough, not to inform anyone regarding this and I took a promise that this never gets to my mom's ear. She would for sure take me out of the college if she knows. Now this unsocial piece of possessed child had to find another room. I didn't have the gut to make instant friends and make them move me in. It was just impossible for me, so I went to registry to find unfilled rooms and thank god hopefully there was a room with only three guys.