the bet//[a.k.]

✦ sᴏɴɢs ✦

a month or so later

"you can head upstairs, i have to pee real quick." awsten told me. i nodded, heading up the stairs. it was already spring break and we had just gotten back from a movie date he took me to. it was a horror movie, but it wasn't really scary. a few too many cliches honestly. kind of like the fanfictuon you're reading right now.

i went into his room and plopped on his bed. once again, i saw that notebook he had. i seriously wondered what was in it.

no, it's his privacy. he could be venting about things he doesn't want to talk about. that notebook is absolutely none of my business.

but, i was so curious!

i opened the notebook a few pages and found a full page of words headlined with 11:11. curiously, i read.

my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room
and my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you
evil comes in pairs and we like what we do
you've got me feeling like a walking love song

the page next to it was filled with words but it was headlined lucky people. were these poems? no, these were songs.

i read at least seven of them. 11:11, lucky people, sleep alone, take her to the moon, i'll always be around, rare, and stupid for you. stupid for you wasn't finished, but what he had was already amazing.

"what on earth are you doing?" i looked up and saw awsten standing in the doorway, starstruck. i immediately became flustered with embarrassment.

"i-i'm sorry, i was just really curious." i apologized. "but, awsten th-"

"y/n, i asked you specifically not to touch my notebook. you invaded my privacy, that's not cool." i realized then that awsten was genuinely upset and i felt bad. but, why didn't he want me to see them? his writing was phenomenal.

"awsten, seriously, i'm sorry. but, why would you not want me to see these? you're amazing at writing songs, i'm speechless."

"well, i kinda wanted to show you then when i was ready. but, honestly, i don't even know if i was ever going to. i'm really not that good at it."

"are you serious? baby, believe me when i say this, your song writing is brilliant."i

"do you really mean that?"

"yes! and, don't worry, i only got to read like 6 or 7 of them."

"7? jesus, i take too long to piss. which songs though?"

"11:11, lucky people, sleep alone, take her to the moon, i'll always be around, rare, and stupid for you. you sang i'll always be around to me a couple months ago, right?"

"yeah..." he looked down and blushed, obviously embarrassed. "it was only the first part of the first verse though. i continued writing it when i got home."

"is- are any of the songs about me?" i asked, feeling embarrassed for even asking. it felt like such an awkward thing to ask but i really wanted to know. he chuckled.

"every love song i've ever written has been about you, y/n." awsten told me. i smiled, then realizing something. was this him implying he loved me? i decided against asking, fearing i might ruin the moment. "after all, why else would i want you to wait so that i can show you them myself?"

i smiled wider, leaning in and pulling him in to kiss me. we stayed like that for a few moments before he pulled away and his face lit up like a lightbulb.

"do you want me to play a song for you?" he asked me. i smiled widely and nodded.

awsten went over to his closet and opened the door, walking inside. he then came back out, carrying an acoustic guitar.

"i don't picture many of the songs to be acoustic but there is one that i definitely think would fit the acoustic genre." he told me. i nodded, slowly.

"which song?" i asked him, curiously.

"lucky people."

he sat back down on my bed and i pulled my knees to my chest, watching him curiously. i never knew he had a talent for making music, even though i knew he could sing, so him doing all of it was interesting to me.

he started strumming chords but then paused for a second before he strummed again, but different chords this time. he strummed them quickly, smiling at me as he did so. gosh, how was he so adorable? i must have asked myself that a million times a day.

light us up until we pop
i wanna burn right til we're not
let's keep each other safe from the world
i'll be your optimistic black hole
full of love i can't control
let's keep each other safe from the world

there it was again. the word "love". i wondered if he actually did love me or if it was just easier to use the word love rather than like.

i wondered if i loved him. but, honestly, it took only a split second for me to realize that i did. i was absolutely head over heels in love with him. i wanted to tell him but i was scared. what if he didn't love me back?

cause i know it's hard to let yourself be fine
but we carry 'round our worried flurried minds
but i'll let go if you do too

awsten eventually finished the song and by then i hadn't even realized i was crying. the song was so beautiful. i had never had someone who cared for me as much as awsten seemed to care about me.

"so, do you like it?" my purple haired boyfriend asked me, while sitting his guitar down. i pulled my head up from behind my knees and nodded but his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "oh god, you're crying. what's wrong, is it that bad?"

"no! i'm not crying out of sadness, i promise. i'm crying out of happiness. i love it so much." i immediately assured him. he let out a nervous laugh.

"thank god, i was so scared you'd hate it." he said, taking his sweater sleeves and wiping my tears. i smiled, sniffling a little.

"it's beautiful, awsten. if you released it on like spotify or something, i swear it'd be like the only thing i listen to."

"nah, i'm not doing all that. i don't think i'm really good enough to become like an actual artist."

"are you insane? you're incredibly talented, aws. i'm sure if you released your music you'd win like a grammy or something."

"i like it when you call me that." awsten changed the subject. i smiled.

"don't change the subject, silly. you are extremely talented and i mean it. i'm not just saying that because i'm your girlfriend." i insisted. his face softened.

"do you really think i'm that talented?" he asked me.

"insanely."

with that, he pulled me into another kiss. but, we were eventually interrupted by ginny calling us for dinner.

"shall we?" awsten asked, getting off the bed and opening his hand for me to take it. i obliged, letting him take my hand as we headed downstairs.