living hell [MULTIFANDOM]

seventeen (the triplets)

riley: I need a long word.
mickey: T-rex but the long one.

eddie: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people?
mickey: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause.
eddie: Won't people think it's weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though?
mickey: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

eddie: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.
mickey: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

riley: Look, mickey, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

*At a bank teller window*
riley, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!
mickey: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!
riley: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
mickey: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

mickey: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have eddie periodically send me texts saying 'we need to talk.'
mickey: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

mickey: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?
eddie: The final boss.
riley: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?
mickey: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

mickey: They made eddie cry!
riley: eddie always cries!
eddie: That's not true! *cries*

mickey, tearing up the room: Where are they?
mickey, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?
mickey: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

eddie: *Talking to mickey* Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Welcome to my abode. I'm glad you could join me.
riley: But this is my abode.
eddie: ...
eddie: Welcome to my abode, I'm so happy to have you, guest.

riley: Am I right, eddie?
eddie: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

riley: What happened to mickey?
eddie: He died.
riley: He what?
eddie: He died, but he's okay.
riley: ...Can you please clarify?
mickey: Clarification is for the weak.

*mickey holding his baby*
eddie: Oh God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
riley: I know, I still am one of these.

riley: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

mickey: Do you guys hear something?
riley: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up.