Dying, Dead (Johnnie Guilbert)

1.0

I tried to picture everything before this. Gus and I had a happy life. Had. He died two years ago when I was sixteen. Ever since that day, people try to help me. It's like they only talk to me because of Gus. I visit his tomb everyday. I took out another cigarette and put it in between my lips. With one hand on the wheel and one on my cigar, I drove to the cemetery.

When I finally reached the beautiful cemetery, I walked to my boyfriends grave.

"Just how you like it, Gus." I told him, while putting a cigarette on his tombstone.

I never lit one.

His words echoed through my mind. Instead of crying, we all know I'm done with that, I sat and smiled.

"Oh I love you." I said, the cigar dripping from my lips.

I sat there for 3 hours just talking to him.

"Well Gus, I think it's time for me to go."

I stood up and was about to leave when I saw a trail of razorblades. What the hell?

I just left them and carried on. It's 11:00am right now and I feel sick to my stomach.

Patti🙏🏼 : HEEEY GURL WANNA GO TO THE M-A-L-L TODAY??

Bella🍑 : Um I don't know. I'm not feeling too well.

Patti🙏🏼 : PLEEEEEASE

Bella🍑 : Okay...

Patti🙏🏼 : GREAT! I'll pick you up at 12.

Yay. I have about 30 minutes now that I'm home. Maybe I should curl my hair. I got my straightener out at began to curl my hair. My sleeves ran up revealing the new cuts I added last night. I just pulled my sleeve down and continued to curl. It passed by and Patricia came about 5 minutes early.

"Are you just gonna mope around all day?" Patti asked while I climbed into her car.

"Pretty much." I shrugged.

"Let's go meet a cute guy."
I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Here? Oh no, cute guys are only found in Kansas." It was her turn to roll her eyes.

"Just because you met Gus there doesn't mean cute guys live there." She smiled.

I hopped out of the car and waited for Patti.

"Are you going to Hot Topic first or Forever 21?"

"Hot Topic duh." I answered. She should know that by now.

We went to Hot Topic and looked at a few things. When I was about ready to check out, I looked at the polish. I picked up the black sparkly polish and went to check out.

"Hello I'm Connor I'll check you out today." He winked and smiled. I laughed a bit and took the money out.

"Alright, who paid you to say that? I'm giving them $5 for their cleverness."

"It was the other cashier. He dared me to say that to everyone here until 5:00. Oh and your total is $38.47." He shrugged with another smile.

"Here you go," I gave him a $50 bill and waited.

"You should call me sometime," he cheekily smirked while messily writing his number on my receipt.

"Is this part of that dare?"

"This is completely me."

"I'll think about," I wink and leave the store with a smile.

"Finally! You guys were flirting for hours!"

"Patti, it was for 10 minutes."

"He's cute. Well NOT for me but for your type he is."

"But Gus is my-"

"Ex boyfriend. Who just so happened to die from cancer." She cut me off and weakly smiled.

"He still-"

"Listen Bella, he's dead. He's not here anymore. He's not hurting anymore. The only person you're hurting is yourself. You need to let him go." Her tone of voice was flat.

"Yeah I do. I just love him so much."

"It's okay just try to let him go."

I shrugged and entered Forever 21 with Patricia. Maybe I should call Connor tonight.

"This is so cute!" I could hear Patricia scream from the other side of the store. Oh gosh. I looked at a few dresses and shoes. By the time we were done, it was 4:46pm.

"We should ask Connor if he wants to go to dinner with us." We were just gonna eat pizza.

By the time we got back to Hot Topic, it was 4:55pm.

"Oh you're back?" Connor asked with a playful smile.

"I was wondering if you want to get pizza with us." He just smiled and nodded.

"Can I take my friend?" He asked with a hopeful expression.

"Knock yourself out."

He came out about five minutes later with a guy. He had blonde curly hair and dimples.

"Hi I'm Dallas." He giggled and kissed my hand.

"Charming," I nodded.

He kissed Patricia on the cheek. Of course she blushed.

"So how old are you girls?" He ask more toward Patricia.

"I'm 18 and she's-"

"-18 I'm eighteen." She cut me off.

"Um okay." I gave her a crazed look. She's turning 19 in 4 months. I'll let it slide.

"Where are we going?" Connor asked with another small smile.

"I was thinking pizza but-"

"Whatever you want." Patricia cut me of again.

"Well I'm okay with everything but I'm kinda craving a pretzel." Connor said and Dallas agreed. I could use a pretzel.

"Pretzel Place?" I asked. They all nodded and off we went.

The walk was short and I grabbed a medium sized table.

"Regular?" Chelsea, the cashier asked.

"Yep," Patricia smiled. We go to Pretzel Place every Saturday. "What do you guys want."

"Whatever she's having." Dallas and Connor said at the same time.
She took $15 out of her wallet. Once they got the pretzels, they sat down next to me and ate. We talked a lot.

"I never got your name." Connor said.

"It's Bella." I smiled.

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Picture of Connor(right) and Dallas(left)