Hurt |L.S|

59

Please don't be mad at me for this timeskip....

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Timeskip to Harry's show in Toronto (15.08.22):

Louis' Pov:

Once again a fucking incredible show. I don't know how he's able to do this nearly every day. The days before this show were spent relaxing and catching up with each other. We also spent an hour and a half every day in the gym, cause Harry said he will collapse during the next show without proper training. And we didn't want that of course.

So now, once again we're lounging on the couch backstage. Harry's head is in my lap and I softly card my fingers through is curls. Around me the people are talking quietly but my whole focus lays on my boyfriend. He looks so peaceful. Before the show he told me that for the first time in a while he can go onto stage, knowing that there's not someone backstage, waiting for him to make mistakes. And when I saw him on stage, checking for any signs of discomfort I could happily state that I actually found none. He interacted with his fans, pranced around on stage, waved a rainbow flag towards me, thanked the fans, danced around crazily, sung beautifully and let everyone feel at home. I couldn't have felt any prouder. I get ripped out of my train of thoughts when someone taps my shoulder. I look up, straight into Sarah's eyes. Closely behind her is Mitch. They sit down beside me without saying a word. I don't know what to expect which makes me feel a bit anxious. Mitch then nudges Sarah and she says silently, probably not to wake Harry,: "Please don't hurt him again."

I nod, what else should I do? I never want to hurt my baby again. I never wanted to hurt him anyways, but I still did, because I'm a fucking arsehole.

"Promise us that you will try anything to protect him from such pain." Mitch adds.

"I promise. I love him with my whole heart and I couldn't let anything happen to my Hazza. " Mitch starts smiling but Sarah remains serious.

"Pinky promise?" She asks. I smile and hold up my pinky, hooking it with hers. "Pinky promise." Finally she starts smiling and surprises me with a warm hug. I hug her back, only with one arm 'cause the other arm is protecting Harry's head from the embrace. Mitch seems to notice and smiles even wider.

We talk a bit more, careful not to wake Harry up, until they excuse themselves while yawning. As soon as they're gone Harry opens his eyes and mumbles sleepily: "You three are the worst silent talkers I've ever known." Oh shittt. I didn't want to wake him up. "So sorry, Darling. How long have you been awake?" He nuzzles his face into my thigh and mumbles almost inaudibly: "Since you started talking?" Ok. So he heard everything I said to those two. I don't know if I think that's good or not. "Well, didn't you want to join the conversation, sun?" I ask, still trying not to be too loud. "No, was interesting what you talked about. Didn't know you loved me with your whole heart." The last part he adds hesitantly and I immediately freeze. Fuck. I didn't want to do this on a couch backstage. But it seems like there is no other way.

"I think you knew that as soon as I said that you are still the love of my life, didn't you babe?" I try to joke but I only get a small smile in return. "What is going on in that pretty little head of yours? You look worried." I ask him, seeing his expression. "It's stupid." Oh no, we will not start with that. I cup his face, leaning down so that our noses nearly brush. "It's not stupid if you are concerned but please tell me why." One can literally see his conflict between telling me and feeling embarrassed and keeping it in and feeling bad. He then speaks up: "I'm concerned that you only said that to impress my friends, to get on their good side." I can't help but feel a bit taken aback. I wouldn't sink that low. On the other hand I understand him. I left him after sleeping with him, so I pretty much sunk lower than low. He seems to take my lack in answer the wrong way: "See, I told you it's stupid!" His entire face is flushed red from embarrassment and he tries to get up. "No, love, that's not stupid. That's not stupid at all! Thank you for telling me. And I of course didn't say that just to impress your friends. These three words are important to me and I would never use them without meaning them. Never. I truly love you."

I look into his eyes, trying to get him to believe me. But then he says something that completely surprises me: "Did you mean it all those years ago?" I look at him irritated, not knowing of any occasion in which I told him "I love you" in a romantic way. And also kinda hurt because he didn't say it back.

"That night a few years ago." He says, vulnerability written all over his face. Shit. Did I say "I love you to him" after sleeping with him? Like a thousand times before I wish I would remember that fucking night.  But one thing I know for sure is: "I would have never said it without meaning it." "But you left after. After you said you loved me." His voice cracks and once more I would like to just hit myself. Hard. "Apparently the unconscious me accepted my love for you and the conscious me was still in denial of being in love with you. But I would never in my life say those words without meaning them. Never. Because I, Louis Tomlinson, love you with my whole heart. And have since 2010"

He cuddles impossibly closer to me. His face hidden in my thigh once again. I feel his mouth move but I don't hear anything. "What did you say, love?" He turns around and says cutely:

"I love you too."

My face splits into a wide grin and I press a soft but passionate kiss onto his full lips. We only part when we are in need of air again. I press a kiss to his temple and he relaxes into it.

Then an idea come to my mind and I start singing softly:

"I'm sorry if I say, "I need ya"

But I don't care, I'm not scared of love

'Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker

And that's not wrong, that's not wrong

'Cause you make me strong"

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Hope you like it :)

Have a nice day and enjoy Niall's beautiful new song, Boo <3

~N

18.02.23