Hurt |L.S|

47

Zayn's Pov:

Maybe it's not the best time but I have to know this now. Since Harry mentioned he "will not survive a second round" I've been thinking about it. And I have to ask Louis what he's done. So Harry won't have to enter a second round.

As soon as they both come out of the room, both with puffy eyes and tearstains down they cheeks, I ask Louis. Shortly they look horribly. A reason more to talk to them.

"LouLou could you come with me for a second?" Seeing his longing gaze towards Harry let me nearly feel bad for separating them. Nearly.

With a curt nod he follows me with his head lowered. I see the look all the boys give me but right now I can't seem to care.

We walk towards my room in utter silence. It's a bit weird but I think he knows that this will not be an easy talk.

Once in my room I sit on my bed and pat the place next to me. I subtly take out some tissues and place them so he doesn't see them but they are in reach. Better be prepared, right?

He sits down, still not saying a word.

"Louis... You know I had a talk with Harry a while ago, right?"

A nod is all I get for an answer but he looks up at me with curiosity and a bit of fright in his eyes.

"I will not tell you the details because that's not my place but he said something after mentioning you and I don't seem to be able to forget it."

Now he looks away. He doesn't seem to be able to look me in the eyes.

"You want to know what he said?"

With a hoarse chuckle he answers: "I'm not sure if I want to know but please tell me."

Taking a deep breath, I decide to just tell him and not ease it in. Maybe like that I'll get a reaction out of him.

"He told and I quote: "I won't survive a second round." Do you have any idea what he meant? Because that statement truly scared me."

I try to observe him but except for a quick flash of pain in his eyes he holds up his walls. Then just second later he buries his head in his hands. I wait for him to look up again but that doesn't happen. Instead, I hear loud sobs. It hurts me deep down how many times I've seen two of my brothers cry in the last few days. How they maybe dammed up all these emotions and buried them deep down and now they are letting them all out.

I reach out for him and pull him on my lap. He cuddles into me immediately, his head hidden in my shoulder. His body's trembling and I feel his hands digging into my shoulder blades.

I try to rub soothing circles into his back, but he won't let me and slips of my lap.

He mumbles something into his hands which I don't understand. Softly I take his hands from his face, just for him to stare at the ground.

"Could you maybe repeat that, Lou?"

"I-I'm such a-an idiot." He says though sobs. I think I underestimated the magnitude of this problem.

"Why?"

Nothing. Just heart wrenching sobs.

Louis' Pov:

Flashback:

Waking up besides Harry is the best thing ever. He's so cuddly and I like to cuddle as well. Platonic cuddling of course. I stretch my arms over my head and cuddle further into Harry. But then I freeze. Why. the fuck. am I. naked. And why is he naked AS WELL? I know we sometimes mess around and I'm okay with it. But that would be a step too far.

I have to know!

"Harry! Harry, wake up!"

With a groan he turns around and slowly opens his eyes, just to close them again. The lights probably a bit too much for his poor hangover.

But just after closing them again he shoots from the bed and looks down frantically. He starts mumbling and stands up with a slight wince while covering his lower half with the blanket. He limps over to the closet and quickly pulls put some clothes. Before he got to run out of the room I hold him back.

"Harry, what the fuck did we do?" I mean I think I know but please tell me it's not tr-

"We made love."

FUCK. What will my family think. What will the fans think. They don't like me at all and then on top of that being a faggot. Simon told me more than enough times that they will never ever like us if we are gay. They want us to be "available".

"Why?! Fuck, no! Why do you remember and I don't?"

"I think I initiated it and I wasn't as drunk as you were."

"Why would you initiate something like that?!"

"I was really drunk and Lou... I like you. I'm sorry it happened like that. But... I thought maybe you liked me?"

No, no, no, I'm not gay, I'm not gay! It's bad. The fans. My family. Simon. Ripping the band apart.

"HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I'M GAY?! I kiss you because it's fun to see how you give in and I like to see the absolutely stupid Larry rumors. I would never kiss somebody like you... a faggot. That's what you are! And I, I am not one of them! Definitely not!  Fuck off!"

The look of deep hurt on Harry's face is heartbreaking. What did I just say? I promised to protect him at all cost and what I just did was definitely not protecting. But how dare he say I'm a fag? How dare he? It's bad to be like that. Simon told us so many times. It's bad. And all the fans wouldn't like us to be together. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad!

"Just get out!" When Harry still doesn't move, tears falling down his face, his long curly hair shielding his face like a barrier, I shove him out of my room.

End of flashback

That was the day after I took Harry's virginity.

That was the day after he showed me his most vulnerable state.

That was the day everything went down the drain.

And I can't even remember it.

"Zayn... I have a confession to make. Please don't hate me and let me finish talking."

-------------------

OMG I am still alive!!! I know, what a surprise! So sorry for not updating :( hope you're not too mad at me...? I'm stressed but this story brings me so much joy. But still, it's time-consuming and when I start writing a chapter then I finish it, so I have to plan when I should write these :/ still, I'm really happy how well this story is doing and I love writing these chapters!

Hope you like it :))

Have a nice day, love <3

~N