Hurt |L.S|

20

Louis' PoV:

It hurts that Harry doesn't want me to carry him but I understand. He's more careful now after what happened this morning.

His show was fucking amazing. How is it even possible to perform like that? Again I have to say: He's free. He walks around, a pride flag proudly over his head, a rainbow folding fan helping his dance moves to become more smooth. And his outfit is beautiful. And his nails are painted. And his hair is perfect. And he performs like there is no tomorrow.

Why am I thinking about him like that? I should be over my stupid crush by now. I have a son, I have a girlfriend, I have everything I've ever dreamed of but there is still always something missing. I don't know if I feel like this because I'm always fighting with Eleanor or because I didn't see my son for a long time or whatever. There is just something missing.

Everyday I think about how stupid I was that one morning. Everyday I feel guilty for letting the most precious person experiencing something like that. Everyday I feel like I'm a fool for letting the most awesome friend slip through my fingers. Everyday I relive that one moment and feel ashamed. Everyday I'd like to apologise but I never had enough courage to call him. And now I'm so close to him. It's necessary for me to finally apologise. It's way too long overdue. I don't even know if he will accept my apology after so long, but they say better late then never, don't they?

As far as I understood we will stay here until the day after tomorrow and then go further to Madrid. And I think tomorrow evening we'll go to a club with one of those VIP areas. And probably get drunk.

I'm still completely overwhelmed that Harry actually takes us with him on tour but I'm excited to see him perform some more. And maybe I can somehow make it up to him again, but we will have to start from zero again. Anyways, tomorrow is a new day and we'll see what it brings. Oh, and yes, Zayn shares with Harry again. And Harry actually stayed awake until he reached his bed. Phenomenal.

-next morning-

Damn it, who's knocking on my door like my room is on fire? It's 6 in the.... oh it's 9 in the morning. How stupid are we exactly? We didn't even plan when we were going to meet up. I slowly get out of bed and waddle towards the door while shouting: "I'm coming, no need to knock anymore."

When I open it, still half asleep, there is a energetic Liam, a complaining Niall, a smiling Harry and a nearly sleeping Zayn.

"Good morning mate, are you ready for breakfast?"
I snort. Does it look like I'm ready cor breakfast? I'm in my pyjama bottom, without a shirt, my hair a complete mess and probably morning breath. I think Liam interprets my glare correctly seeing as he says:

"Fine, five minutes but no more. And can we please wait inside? I'm not going to wait outside a room for 20 minutes again." Niall sends Zayn and Harry glares that could easily kill them. I guess they took a bit longer.

"Sure come in but don't be surprised, I'm still very untidy." And I mean that: My clothes are everywhere and my suitcase is also in the middle of the room. I didn't exactly expect visitors. While walking towards my suitcase to get some clothes I inconspicuously pick up my boxer shorts. I probably didn't do very well because Harry laughed shortly.

"Could I maybe get to the bathroom? I need to change and brush my teeth." Unacceptable, you need to ask for permission in your own room.

"Come on we're mates, change in front of us."

Thanks Niall but that sounded incredibly sexual and gay. When I tell him this without second thoughts I see Harry tensing up. Immediately I regret saying it. I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom. I was never one to run from confrontation but right now that's all I'm doing. I don't pick up Eleanor's calls and as soon as I made a mistake I don't apologise but run. And that is not a clever idea. After I changed and brushed my teeth I walk out with as much energy as I could muster. I'm awake for about ten minutes, come on.

We all walk down to the dining room, chatting happily with each other. I first walk with the group but then I fasten my steps to catch up with Harry. When I reach him I'm a mess. What should I say? Should I apologise? Why am I nervous? That's my best mate right there. It shouldn't be a problem to talk to him. I look at his side profile, thinking about what I should say and in that exact moment I, of course, trip. I close my eyes, waiting for the hard ground to meet with my bum but it never happens. Two strong arms caught me mid-air and are placing me on my feet again.

"Oops" I say, scratching the back of my head.

"Hi" he says.

I smile at him, memories at how me first met flooding my mind. And then out of nowhere I just apologise:

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything. For everything I said, for everything I did. I know it will never be enough and it's really bold for me to ask for your forgiveness. Everyday I look at how this conversation went the wrong way due to me lying to myself. I'm so sorry and it'll never be enough but if I could turn back time, I'd never say such things again. I'd never hurt my best friend like that again." I hate how my voice cracks in the end but it had to be said. I never imagined I would apologise in a damn hotel hallway. I always thought I'd do something big, like writing letters and inviting him or just something more meaningful. But it just slipped out, and at least it came from my heart. I don't dare to lift my eyes of the ground, the fear to big with what would meet my them. I keep them on the ground until I feel one finger under my chin, lifting it up. I look directly into two bright green orbs, but I only see them blurry due to my tears.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this. 7 years, Louis, 7 years. I hope you know that we can't just go on from where we were but now I'm ready to try a friendship again." It hurts me so much. Why did I wait that long? Why did I let him be hurt that long? Why didn't I apologise sooner? Harry is too kind for this world. I would've never forgiven myself in his place, too hurtful is what I said. And I can't express how happy I am with him being ok with starting over. I definitely don't deserve that. But my in my whole body there are little people dancing around happily and I think I have an overdose of serotonin. That's the closest to describing it.

Suddenly he starts chuckling softly. Why is he laughing now? Was he joking? Will he now tell me he'll never forgive me?

"Look at us five, crying in a hotel's hallway. Just like old times."

I truly hope you liked it and I appreciate every comment and vote <3
Have a nice morning/day/evening/night (sleep, don't read Wattpad 😂!)

~N
06.08.22