MY LITTLE ARTIST

FOURTY TWO

Camila

The ever growing pain in my stomach consumed me. Every morning I'd wake with a weight heavier than bricks upon my shoulders and a head far too busy with thought

I couldn't even think, my body and mind so overwhelmed with pain I was barely able to get myself ready for class. I pulled on a shirt and picked out a skirt but couldn't face reaching for the door handle

My fingertips brushed over the door, admiring the way it shielded me from the outside world I was so badly trying to hide from. It didn't take long to convince myself to stay, kicking off my shoes and slumping back into bed

Nova texted me a few times, as did Lauren. As much as I missed them both, my head lured me into being absent for the third time this week. I had felt nothing but absence for a while now, trying to gather a thought but coming up with nothing

I wondered how long I'd feel this way, if feeling this way was actually something I'd have to live with. I'd overcome the sensation before, but it felt different now, severe and uncomfortable. Sofi was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it

"Camila!" I heard bellowing through the wooden door after falling asleep for around an hour "It's Nova! Open up!"

I stretched my arms towards the bed frame and reluctantly paced towards the door. She'd dropped by every day since I'd decided to skip class, today would be the first I'd actually let her in "What!" I barked, ignoring my lack of clothes and messy hair "I'm sleeping!"

"You look pretty awake to me!" She pushed through the door and stumbled to sit against the end of my bed "Where have you been?"

I pointed to the bed behind her with a grunt, rolling my eyes before returning to my spot. She turned around and faced me with a sigh "I'm worried about you"

"Back of the line Nova!" I scoffed "Plenty of people before you!"

"I'm serious!" She replied "You haven't been in class all week, Lauren keeps asking me to speak with you but you're not answering any of my texts!"

I grabbed my phone and tapped against the screen, signalling the device was turned off on purpose "Maybe because I don't want to see them?"

Nova stood, pacing the room like an uncomfortably toddler "I can't take this Camila, I'm literally loosing my mind over here!" She began passionately "I miss you? I miss laughing with you in class and talking about your secret love affair! Is that a crime?"

"No, it's not" I retaliated "Unfortunately, I can't help that I'm not feeling like sparkles and rainbows!" Nova paused as my tone began to embody my inner voice "You and Lauren seem to have this utopian view on life when in reality, life sucks!"

"Then let us help you!" She begged, striking a nerve deep within me that struck me back onto my feet

"Help me?" I scoffed "You think you can help?" Nova gulped "I've been living this rodeo for my entire life Nova! Every part of me being torn apart and shoved into corners while the people around me play god! You don't know how this feels, you can't fix this!"

She didn't talk back. Her lips were locked and her eyes glazed in that same stupid expression everyone always had when I opened my mouth honestly

I laughed sarcastically "Continue on with your life girl! Go and be happy, this shit just isn't meant to be for me!" My heart ached as soon as those words had left my mouth "Get out of my room!"

Thankfully she left with her tail between her legs before my eyes flooded with tears. The realisation that my heart was broken beyond repair and all of my views on life had been exchanged with doom and gloom hit me like a speeding car

Life was killing me and I was done suffering, maybe for now anyway.. I had a party to go to after all