While Lauren remained in her classroom until god knows what hour, Camila stood across campus in her dorm with a fresh face of makeup and a vacant glaze over her pooling brown orbs. She stared back at herself for a moment before looking away, unable to stand her own reflection for even a second more
She didn't feel like going out earlier, in fact, she didn't feel like anything. But after seeing Sonja and hearing her life once again get harder, she decided to rebel against her health and go to the party Nova had invited her too
She didn't bother to text the girl, she couldn't really be bothered. Instead she got herself ready and started aimlessly walking to find those big silver doors. When finding them she sighed, rolling her eyes before walking silently within
Already she could see the mounds of people crowding the bars, class members and recognised faces taking over the tables and booths. Her mind was too numb almost to care as she navigated her way towards the nearest bar-man she could find
With a drink in her hand, Camila began to sip, watching out over the growing crowd with no idea of what her intentions in being there were. She just drank, drink after drink, slipping down her tired throat
Eventually however she was recognised, Nova approached the girl with a beaming smile, quickly noticing the damaged glitter in her brown eyes "Hey stranger? I thought you didn't wanna come?"
Camila ignored the girl's excitement, keeping her gaze focused out into the dancing bodies "I changed my mind" she spoke bluntly, growling her lip almost which immediately warned the blonde to step back
"Well I'm glad you're here!" Nova smiled "You look like you need some space so I'll just- yeah!" She replied awkwardly, almost afraid of Camila's empty stare. It wasn't often Nova backed away from an interaction, however tonight, Camila looked to be dangerously distracted
"You need another one girlie?" The bar-man behind probed kindly as he slid a drink across the sticky bar "Looks like you've had better days"
Camila turned her back and grabbed for the drink "How could you tell" she spat almost rudely. The man chuckled, tilting his head with an evident understanding "I work in a bar, you get used to seeing the troubled ones"
Camila raised her brows and downed her fresh drink, slamming the glass onto the bar "You're a genius" she smirked, walking away to circulate the dance floor for something she didn't quite know what. After being there for only 30 minutes, she herself was shocked at how intoxicated she already happened to be
She remained there for another 30 minutes or so before clocking the arrival of her beloved Summer. Something about her presence left her feeling euphoric, like the strain their relationship had faced over the years was somewhat enticing
She made her way across the floor, pushing and shoving a few people along the way before lifting two fingers across her shoulder to wager her attention "Oh Camila? Hi!" Summer gasped, not expecting the girl to want her conversation after their interaction a few days prior
"You were right you know" the girl spoke, tempting Summer away from her friends "People like us really are incapable of changing"
Summer batted her long lashes and smirked at the girl in front "You're realising now? She laughed generously "Oh girl! I was waiting for you to smell the roses!"
Camila scoffed absently "Yeah, well" her eyes drifted across the dance floor "Denial really is a bitch" Summer revelled in Camila's pain, the agony in her voice like a swarm of birds singing in the wind "So" she began "What made you change your mind?"
"Just had a sudden realisation that I'm destined for constant misery" the girl laughed with not a single emotion in her tone "I don't see the point in containing it anymore, it's boring"
Summer nodded happily in response "Welcome back then!" She smirked "I have to say though, you really do look like utter shit!" Camila laughed, stumbling slightly as she followed the elder across the bar "What happened?"
Camila didn't want to answer, normally she'd bite back and retaliate with some unpleasant comment. Right now however, she was too numb to bother "Sofi is moving across country, I'm never aloud to see her again" she laughed sarcastically "What a delight huh!"
"Ouch" Summer scoffed "That's some heavy news Camila!" The girl smiled back, ignoring the agony in her chest that almost made her want to cry "I should have expected it to be honest" she droned "Story of my life"
Summer didn't at all feel empathetic towards the girl, she didn't have it in her. Instead she wanted to hear more, getting thrills out of the girls new sense of defeat "That's awful!" she probed "I'd be loosing my shit if I were in your position, how are staying so chill?"
Camila shrugged, leaning against the bar with a gaze focused on the rows of expensive liquor bottles in front "Alcohol, learned suppression and avoidance, you know! The usual"
Summer laughed "I see! Doesn't take the pain away though does it!"
Camila shook her head, trying to formulate her thoughts with the mounds of alcohol filling her body "Nothing does" she admit "It's pointless trying to make things better at this point!"
"You say that!" Summer suggested, reaching into her bra for a small baggie Camila instantly caught focus on "It's only temporary but, works for me every time"
Camila stared at the substance for a moment before gulping hard "Fuck it" she hummed, grabbing for the bag with a snatch before tucking it into her bra "I don't give a shit anymore!"
Summer smiled as the girl walked away and towards the bathroom. Her strut so deflated and final she almost considered herself a success "Oh Camila" she smirked "You're too easy!"
Camila walked into the bathroom currently empty and leant against the sink. She stared at herself as she always did, picking out every imperfection she could before reaching into her bra for the white powder
She stared at the bag with an evident spite for a good few minutes, rolling the tiny grains between her fingertips with tears rolling down her cheeks "I fucking hate you!" She spat, clearly talking to the substance before unlocking the bag with her pinky finger
She reluctantly poured a small pile onto the back of her knuckle, observing its contents for a moment before closing her eyes tight towards the ceiling "Im sorry Sofi!" She sobbed before lifting her hand towards her nose "Shit!" She gasped as the inside of her nose burned
She remained in the bathroom for a good few moments, feeling every sense in her body change while her mind began to loose grip on all of the painful things currently looming
Eventually she found herself leaving the space and venturing back out into the dance floor, everyone seemed different now, more distant and less annoying. Summer rejoined the girl with a hand on her back, chuckling to herself with a confident smirk
"Feel better?" She asked bluntly
Camila laughed "I don't feel anything!"
"Perfect!"
YOU ARE READING
MY LITTLE ARTIST
Hayran Kurgu*Extreme Smut Warning* Camila had always resented her chaotic upbringing, living on the edge of everything a constant battle between exhaustion and fear. When she starts her new college journey she wanders if maybe things could be different, better...
