We meet again

Part 29

Buttercup POV:

I don't think you understand.

I don't think anyone understands.

I don't even know if I understand.

It's all so fucking stupid.

I have this ache in the pit of my stomach. A reminder that it's not okay. A reminder of how much I fucking hate the rowdies. A little bell chiming to tell me it's time to leave. Leave it all, run away. Hide in the desert, away from everyone.

Why are people so difficult?

Why can't they just... shit. Fucking assholes is what they are. A bunch of lying selfish idiots.

I feel like I should be mad at Bubbles too. But she tried to tell me. Boomer kept stealing her away.

Is it wrong for me to want to know if my life is in danger? Is it so wrong of me to be mad at the guys for keeping this from me?

I don't think anyone understands how awful it feels. I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I feel... so fucking stupid!

Brick, Boomer, Butch... they kept this hidden from me! From blossom! And they'd of kept it hidden from Bubbles, had Boomer not been born an idiot! But the worst part? The cherry on top? The sprinkles on the ice cream? The professor didn't tell us. The professor, our father, the person who we all aspired to be like... he's part of why the boys couldn't tell us.

It was one thing for Bubbles. It was something else for the guys. And it's a complete and utter mess of a thing from the Professor.

I don't think I've let anyone get under my skin this much in years. I don't think I've let other people dictate my life since I was five. I don't think I've even been this fucking scared since... well... ever, actually.

I've been scared, something I don't like to admit to, but never like this. No... I feel like one wrong move and everything I've worked so fucking hard to protect'll be gone. All those sleepless nights fighting crime would of been for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

All those times I broke my nose, busted a lip, almost lost a limb... they'd be for nothing. All of Blossoms sleepless nights trying to formulate a plan to succeed? For nothing. All of Bubbles taking on the press after each fight to ensure that the citizens were well protected? For nothing. It'd all of been for nothing.

When I woke up this morning, I couldn't just sit still twiddling my thumbs while waiting for school to start. I needed to busy myself. So I found my way into the kitchen at the crack of dawn. I made myself bacon, eggs, pancakes. And when that wasn't enough to calm my twitchy nerves, I decided to make Butch food.

I debated poisoning his omelet... but decided against it when he walked out and a look of either terror or uncertainty made him stop in his tracks. Maybe both. Whatever it was it stunned him into silence all of breakfast.

I went through most of my day with as little to no bitching. I myself was kinda stunned into a silence of my own, if I'm being honest. I just... it really hurt. All of it. Everything. It all hurt.

By the time lunch rolled around, I found myself standing in the middle of the dining halls. Nothing looked good. Nothing sounded good. I just couldn't take someone else's food right then. I needed my food. So I texted Blossom and told her to find us a spot and I'd be down with food shortly.

I made salmon.

Blossom kept eying me carefully. As if I might just combust then and there. Or maybe she was taken aback buy Butch stealing my food and me letting him. Don't ask why I let him, I don't even fucking know. Each word he spoke I wanted to shove the stupid fish down his throat.